Biting the bullet -- Pandora whispers, 'Hope'

[Bobbi]

Sometimes it’s tough. Sometimes unbearable.
We are still here. What will the future hold?

The old king had created his own version of religion.
It gave him permission to do as he saw fit.
It gave him what he needed.
After all why should a ruler obey any rules other than his own?
In the end he died, in agony, from the injuries he had suffered, long, long before.

His new religion had replaced the old.
All the old structure was destroyed.
The places of education and learning, the hospitals and alms houses, the communal meeting places were looted and demolished.
The administrators of the system were persecuted.
Their residences were destroyed and their treasures melted down.

The population had lost an asset which was not replaced.

The king had his requirements met by the new religion but he did not seem to realise that his population also had its needs.

======

The old woman sat in her cottage.
With broom in hand she had swept yesterday’s dust and ashes out of the door and on to the track which leads past the woods towards the village.

Everything was upside down.
Where had certainty, faith and trust gone?
How was this new religion going to help?
Had the old ways gone forever?

Others in the village both around and about seemed to feel the same way.
It was a dangerous time.
Who could you trust?
Was there anyone you could talk to?
Was it better to say nothing?

Everything was going wrong.
Who was to blame?
If you stuck together would it be safer?
All questions, no answers.

Then suddenly someone said it was her.
She was a witch.
Definitely.
She was creating all these difficulties.
They would be better off if she was gone.

Round up her family, friends and acquaintances.
Get rid of them all.

Then we can breath easily and safely once again.

And so they were marched away.
Somewhere very far away.
There would be no coming back.

The jailer laughed and joked.
Maybe it will turn out okay.
You know?

Just admit they were to blame and it’d be fine.

Then suddenly, one evening, he was a menace, cruel and terrifying.
Not what they had expected.

In the morning they were lead outside, into the light.
Out of the gates and away from the stone walls.
Good to leave all that behind.
Then marched up the hill.
Maybe going home?

A hood was placed over each head.
It was going to be a mystery.
Someone laughed.

They were left until they kicked and turned no more.
Hanging still, silent, as the damp cold mist dropped and the dark of night crept in with a shiver.

[Gnasher]

Well that really cheered me up. Thankfully I only read first paragraph. When you are feeling down. You don’t want to feel more depressed with your life.

If people want to write then don’t write how you feel to make people more upset with there life and what’s going on in it.

They want some uplifting and hope that life can get better and they see improvements. Slowly maybe but not feel lifes over.

I’ve said this before strokes affect people differently and just because some are serious and some not. We are all one team. Respect others before you comment. Unless like I’m saying here. Don’t put on if it’s any chance it could upset others.

I think you are the person who goes out on his buggy. Lovely. But have you thought of maybe that actually upsets stroke survivors who can’t go out. But wish they could. I know it actually upsets someone who I’ve got to know who’s housebound.

All I’m saying is. Think before you put anything on. Because you may feel it’s right. But maybe it’s not.

And I’m sure many will agree with me and many won’t. That’s life.

Oh and finally look at the replies. That should also say something. Maybe now others will say something.

[Trace57]

I enjoyed reading that, Bobbi. It’s quite dark but In my head, I could hear your voice speaking the words and that made me smile. Although it’s only a story, it was thought provoking, as any good story should be, and I couldn’t help but compare it to how I see the world today, not because I’ve had a stroke but because the world is increasingly becoming a dark and unsettling place to inhabit. Before the stroke, I was ready to fight and do battle, but now I just feel a bit vulnerable and that’s quite a humbling experience.

Trace

[bob.isle]

I think Gnasher is quite right; not every stroke survivor is totally mentally stable and the good old Yorkshire attitude of “hear all see all but say nowt” has much to commend itself, rather than risk upsetting people with well-meant but ill-considered posts.
Bob Isle.

[Bobbi]

Thank you @Trace57

I feel that vulnerability too, I think it is appropriate to mention it.
Living in an ideal world isn’t an option for many.
I’m not sure that closing our eyes to that fact is the right thing to do.

Biting the bullet

only a story – but one with a history

Sources:

King Henry V111
The Dissolution of the Monasteries
The Witches of Pendal Hill.
An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge.

[Bobbi]

I have learned that life doesn’t always provide a happy ending but if we move along there could be that good outcome waiting for us further along the way.

Isolation, limitation, disruption, vulnerability, fear, the unknown.

Suddenly become words that describe the landscape where we find ourselves.

I mention us.
If there’s an us then perhaps we are not alone.

At the other end of things we find ourselves, all of us, in a place unknown.
Nothing is definite, a guess is perhaps the best answer available to this riddle.

Unknown means there is the possibility of adventure. The chance to measure, to experience, to learn.

But fear hems us in. Can fear be overcome? Are we safe? Surely we are vulnerable?

With a mother to watch over us, when we were young, these were issues that did not need to concern us.

As our experience grew we gradually learned to take care of ourselves. We began to recognise patterns. We found our place and moved in our worlds.

Stroke came along and destroyed much of this. We were thrust outside of what we knew into a chaotic place where all certainty was gone.

Some fairly quickly picked up the pieces and managed to return to a more stable, but somewhat curtailed, existence.

Others had bigger hurdles to address. Maybe getting over the hurdle was impossible but persistence suggested that going around rather than climbing over was an answer.

I ramble on still searching for a way to be who I am, to find who I can be.
If you stand in my way I’ll try to go around.
I’m on an adventure with no sure end or destination.

This is what life, which has so far not left me, has allotted to me.

It’s 5.00 am again and a new day is started.

keep on keepin on

[ManjiB]

@Bobbi

Sometimes it’s tough. Sometimes unbearable.
We are still here. What will the future hold?

This post is under the topic “General > Creative Writing, the-past, belief”.

It starts off as above and continues with what I see as a piece of creative writing. Bobbi has written this and he has posted it on this forum in a section that is what I would suggest not a main go-to section? “General > Creative Writing, the-past, belief”.

If you choose to read it, as I did and as others did, then it is a choice we made. Bobbi has not forced us to read this and he has not sign-posted it as advice or in any mis-leading way to suggest it is anything other than a piece of creative writing.

For him, as a stroke survivor this is a form of release, a way to recover, to train his brain.
If he chooses to go out on a buggy and shoots a video that he posts, again, it is a choice he makes and something he enjoys and something he has worked hard to do. He did not start going out on his buggy from day 1, nor does he suggest it is something everyone can do. As far as I can tell, he is sharing his experiences and showing what might be possible. For many, this may be inspirational, they may see it as something they too can do. Maybe, they might even want to ask Bobbi if he has any tips he can share on how he got to do this.

If I choose to watch the video or read this then why should I get upset? If that was the case I cannot watch TV, or watch people walking past my house etc. etc.

I don’t believe that anyone on this forum goes out of their way to upset others and if anyone is taking time and effort to post things they should surely be applauded. This forum has inspired many and it has helped many. It may be the case that it may have upset some, but I don’t believe that the upset was due to something that we intended to upset but rather to how the reader/viewer chose to interpret or mis-interpret what was being said.

People come on this forum to seek answers, or for some respite and I believe that in the main this is what people like Bobbi offer. Just like in the outside world, this forum’s membership is diverse and we are never going to please all the members all of the time, but that I would suggest will not be for the wont of trying.

@Gnasher

They want some uplifting and hope that life can get better and they see improvements. Slowly maybe but not feel lifes over.

For me, seeing Bobbi and others like him is uplifting and it gives hope that life can get better and you can see the improvements. Bobbi often tells us where / how his journey began over four years ago or whenever it was. There is a real life example - not something doctors tell you, that may or may not happen. It is a documented journey.

@bob.isle

rather than risk upsetting people with well-meant but ill-considered posts.

Well-meant, absolutely, but ill-considered? How is this ill-considered?

@Trace57

I enjoyed reading that, Bobbi. It’s quite dark but In my head, I could hear your voice speaking the words and that made me smile.

This forum is a wonderful place and it welcomes members in all shapes and sizes from across the spectrum, be they stroke-survivors, carers, young or old.

We are all free to choose whether we wish to post on here or just read. We are free to express our opinions and that is what they are. There is no right and no wrong.

Long may that continue.

[Bobbi]

@ManjiB

This forum has inspired many and it has helped many.

Thank you @ManjiB for your comment.

It is so true.

Yes, in my case, this forum has provided me with a focus when all was turmoil, confusion, and lonely fear.

The folk who participate here have showed me that I am not isolated and the restriction I feel can be addressed and relieved.

I’ve had a life changing experience and found that I am still alive with the will to continue.
There are ups and downs. There are no instant cures. Sometimes there’s huge obstacles but it is worth every effort, every sit, every stand, every step.

Plus there are you others who encourage, care and support.
My thanks can’t express just how much that means.

There are wonderful days, great successes and good friends who congratulate.

I want to write about, shout out, share it all.

Aren’t these things what life is about, what life always has and always will be about?

keep on keepin on

[Sue22]

Well that is a bit dark, Bobbi and I can see both sides of the argument. Yes you can speak and write freely what you feel is important to you, but it can also bring distress to others who have yet to come to terms that the effects strokes have on us all. We are all different and all have our own ways of coping. We may be in a bad place where our emotions are hard to accept or see life clearly, but then again we all have various methods of dealing with those times. We all have a choice to read a post or not, and we all respect that everyone is different, but when writing and posting we surely must accept that we should respect the thoughts and feelings of others on this forum. Support is tantamount to all of us and keeping things in a more brighter, supportive and positive outlook is better than making a dark place even darker. By all means write how you feel why not? If it helps you that’s a great way to live and accept your life as it is, but think a little of those who are struggling with emotions, with the fact that life has changed for them and not in a great way. So all I say is it’s a great thing to be able to write, but we should also think is it a suitable piece to share and post here or is to be kept for another time or place. This is only my opinion, which not everyone will agree with, but supporting those new to this life should also be heard and given due acknowledgement. I wish everyone well, I know how it feels too to be housebound, unable to be the independent person I was, so please, let’s just respect each other on this long journey to recovery.

[Bobbi]

You’ll have to dig a bit deep to find this thread. It’s not one of the most recent, nor on the front page.

@Sue22

So all I say is it’s a great thing to be able to write, but we should also think is it a suitable piece to share and post here or is to be kept for another time or place. This is only my opinion, which not everyone will agree with, but supporting those new to this life should also be heard and given due acknowledgement. I wish everyone well, I know how it feels too to be housebound, unable to be the independent person I was, so please, let’s just respect each other on this long journey to recovery.

I think @Sue22 that you don’t realise that I am one of those who are often in a dark place and actually do get affected by comments from others especially and obviously when they are directed pointedly at me. (not a polite thing to do btw)

Because of this I am very aware of what others experience and how difficult it can be to speak out sometimes.

However I believe that it is important to encourage others to speak freely, not in criticism of one’s neighbours, but to find answers, relieve inner turmoil and maybe to communicate and find ways of dealing with difficulties, hurdles and seemingly impossible puzzles.

Yes this forum can be a haven, a wonderful place, a safe space, whether times are good or bad. It’s most certainly not all fun and fairgrounds and I believe looking at things as they truly are can go a long way to addressing those difficulties and finding useful answers.

Between us we make it what it is.

Biting the bullet -- Pandora whispers, 'Hope'

I have learned that life doesn’t always provide a happy ending but if we move along there could be that good outcome waiting for us further along the way. Isolation, limitation, disruption, vulnerability, fear, the unknown. Suddenly become words that describe the landscape where we find ourselves. I mention us. If there’s an us then perhaps we are not alone. At the other end of things we find ourselves, all of us, in a place unknown. Nothing is definite, a guess is perhaps the best answer a…

I’ll say no more.

Sometimes silence says it all.

keep on keepin on

[Sue22]

Silence doesn’t always say it all. Most of us are in a dark place at sometime or other, for some at the moment it is constant, all I’m saying is by all means speak freely but bear in mind what free speech can mean for others.

[Bobbi]

Bobbi says “Darker and deeper? You might like this.”

shortshorts001 getting back into the world

[Gnasher]

I work with adults and children with profound multiple disabilities and have no say in the life they have. Like some stroke survivors. They can do nothing for themselves.

Can we ever know what these children / adults are going through. NO. We can only assume what they are going through.

So yes we are in a dark place at times and life’s different from what it was before. But we have a life and I for one am grateful for that. Yes I can’t do what I could do. But I’ve the ability live as good a life has I can.

So when I see posts that are not helpful then yes I will say. Because you have a life after stroke. Some don’t.

They can’t say that they disapprove of the post.

Are you right to post. All I say his think. Does that hurt.

And yes you can ignore the person commenting like I know I am. It’s been said. Childish maybe or scared of the remarks back.

[Sue22]

I would hope Gnasher that most comments will be helpful and supportive, which I’m sure they will be. After all, that’s what this forum is all about, so please don’t be put off from posting and seeking answers. I wish you well.

[Trace57]

I find it a little sad, but also rather interesting, that Bobbi’s post has caused such a plethora of seemingly negative feeling. It was, after all, ‘just’ a piece of creative writing, rooted in history. I personally found it a distraction from some of the posts on here which often reveal genuine suffering and hardship and can be distressing and difficult to read. Some of us may be grateful that our own demise is of a lesser degree but nonetheless, most, if not all of us, experience dark times and most likely did pre stroke as well. Dark times may last for a very long time but an end to them or an easing of them will come one way or another and hopefully, we’ll have learned something about ourselves along the way, something that will help us to endure and survive the next onslaught when it arrives. We should never be resentful of those who have been able to move on - they, too, have had to fight for what they’ve gained and not everyone gains equally. It is hard for all of us in one way or another.

Trace

[Trace57]

This is so true but also hilarious

Celebrate every win with a smile​

Trace