My dad had a stroke in November 2026.
He just been discharged and he wanted to come home. He is wheelchair bound and his left side has no movement. He is very frustrated and angry.
Does that pass?
Will it better?
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@Harj1977 , how old is your father? Recovery depends on how much damage the stoke has done.
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Hes 83
Its quite a serve stroke
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@Harj1977 , sorry to hear that. The best thing to do is use stoke.org.uk/behaviour-after-stroke site to get a grip on things. Also, there are dedicated people on the site/forum who can help.
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Hi @Harj1977 and welcome. It can get better! A lot better than it is right now for you. If you keep a diary of his recovery progress, you will be able to look back and see just how far he has come. It’s useful for those days you feel like nothing has changed or feel he is going backward.
It is going to be a bit of a rollercoaster ride both physically and emotionally for at least the next 6 months for you both. Naturally he is going to be angry and frustrated, he’s never been in this situation before. But it also could be the damage to the brain that is causing this, only time will tell. Do you know what type of stroke he had?
The next 6 months will tell as the brain heals. This period is all about the healing, the brain is busy mopping up and repairing the damage done, where it can. So you can see lot of improvement in that period with mobility etc. But in the meantime he going to be resting a lot due brain fatigue. The brain can’t cope with a lot, and that can cause some of his anger…over tired…like a baby. So I’ll warn you now a simple quiet life is the order of the day. Medical appointments and physio are going to take it out of him as it is, so be mindful not to have a stream of visitors or excursions planned for him.
But you will need to take frequent breaks away from him yourself, because you have to take care of you too. You will need time away to decompress. Do you have other family or friends who can help out, just to sit with him while you going shopping or for a coffee or a walk?
So yes, it can get better than it is right now, but we don’t ever get back to what we were before, certainly not at 83! That would take another lifetime but the anger and frustration certainly as he comes to terms with his condition. Right now he’s probably going through the 5 stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Just be mindful not to let him slip into a deep depression. That’s another good reason for keeping a diary, to keep track of his moods.
Lorraine
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I’m almost 79 and had a stroke 4 years ago.
I came home scarcely able to move.
I can now walk from one room to another in the house.
I can drive.
I am quite limited in comparison to what I used to be but do have a life that is worth living.
I suggest that there is no one size fits all diagnosis. Doctors and specialists can’t predict any more than I.
If your Dad continues to take the treatment he has been given he will very likely not worsen and quite possibly in the long term you will notice some improvement.
I think it would be unfair to suggest that he will return to the way he was before stroke but after a year or two he should be able to have some sort of life.
It is a long road filled with uncertainty.
Come to this forum to share your experiences and you will receive encouragement as you find that you and he are not alone and it is worth the effort to continue.
The one thing stroke teaches is to make the most of what you have.
Leave behind what was and let the future take care of itself.
keep on keepin’ on
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@Harj1977 Welcome to the Forum, Does your Dad have someone to take care of him? My mother in law came home and she had mobility issues. She still has but she is amazing what she can do. If there is someone to help your Dad there is no reason why he cant come home. I am stroke survivor, recovery takes a long long time
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Hello @Harj1977 - welcome to the forum.
This forum will offer much advice and support that may help you and your Dad. Almost certainly both yourself and your Dad are at a place like no other you have been to before and as such it may prove to be quite challenging at times.
I would suggest, as difficult as it might be, you may have to take the lead here. I can only guess but your Dad may be experiencing all sorts of things, possibly many of which he has never experienced before. It may be a very steep learning curve for you and also your Dad as you come to terms with your current situation.
If you doing this on your own, you should seek as much help and support as you can get. This can come from family and friends as well as your Dad’s healthcare support team - I am going to guess he has been discharged to the community support care team.
How things progress from here is hard to say. I am not going to suggest any likely out come because based on our experience, this is pretty much going to depend on how you and your Dad manage things from now. It will depend on your and his mental strength and desired outcomes. Anger and frustration might be good emotions to get you started but then you and Dad need to start thinking about where you are now and where you want to be.
At age 83, I am going to suggest from personal experience, the onus will be on you and your Dad. Sadly, unless you are lucky, and it is a lottery (post-code lottery) as to how much useful help and support you can get. You will already have been told/given expectations on how much progress your Dad can expect to make from the MDT (Medical Discharge Team). I don’t know how much your Dad understands and how much he can communicate but this also makes a big difference when it comes to getting the right help and support.
Does it pass? Yes, it can pass but there are no guarantees and it depends on the individual. I have seen success and failure from this starting position.
Will it get better? This depends on many things but most importantly you Dad - he is the driver in all this. It is his desire and attitude to his current predicament that will determine where he ends up.
We don’t have a crystal ball and so we can’t predict the past. You can look at the past and seem guidance from that. For example, before the stroke, what was your Dad’s attitude to life? It is my belief that his mental strength pre-stroke can be a useful guide to the likely progress and recovery he can expect to make from this stroke.
I wish you and you Dad every success.
Namaste|
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JohnnyBoy - I think your link is not quite correct, possibly a spelling mistake or something. I think you might have been trying to suggest this to @Harj1977
Changes to behaviour | Stroke Association
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Hi @Harj1977 welcome to the group nobody wants to join but a group that helps a lot. I am bad at dates but don’t you mean November 2025? We haven’t had November 2026.
There is a lot of room for improvement. Try to accept the fact that improvement is slow and may even go backwards. Patience for both of you is needed but things will improve.
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@Harj1977 - I think it is difficult to answer your questions from a distance. What I mean by that is we / I don’t know your Dad and the exactly how the stroke has affected him. From what you say he is 83 years old and he has had a severe stroke that has left him wheelchair bound with no left side movement and emotionally he is frustrated and angry.
It may help you to know that I am a stroke survivor - I was older than your Dad is when I had my stroke and I believe my stroke may have been worse than your Dad’s.
I have not only survived the stroke but I believe I am doing quite well all things considered and from where I started my journey more than seven years ago.
In my case the answer to your questions is a resounding yes - things will pass and they will get better.
You can do this, but you and your Dad will have to put some effort in and it will not be plain sailing. There will be ups and there will be downs, but to me this is no different to how things were before I had the stroke. Yes, they are different types of ups and different types of downs and if truth be known they are worse now then they were before. That said, I can’t put it all down to the stroke, after all I am getting older as is your Dad and with age we face newer challenges and we must learn new things to keep on living as we would like.
On this forum there are many others like me and like your Dad who have come through and are here telling tales. I believe your Dad can come through this too and it will be because of the love and support you and others will provide as he travels on the path to recovery from the stroke.
I wish you and your Dad all the best and I hope you will keep us updated on how you get on. You should not hesitate to ask for help from wherever you need it be it the healthcare, social services or this forum.
There will be plenty for you to do - organise and out in place care plan and support teams.
As primary carer (I am guessing you are primary carer) you carry a lot of weight on your shoulders and you must look after yourself. In many ways, your health and well being has to come first so that you can then support your Dad.
Take care 
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Hi
Thank you for your lovely message. Its hard to watch my strong hero so vulnerable.
I try to be strong but sometimes it becomes overwhelming.
Just dont yo let him down.. 
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Sorry November 25 ! Totally losing my bearings!
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It will be as hard for you as it is your dad just in a slightly different way. But one thing you aren’t doing is letting him down. How do I know that? Well, you have posted on here for starters which means you care & want to do your best for him. Will you always getbit right, probably not but that doesn’t mean you are letting him down.
Your dad has to engage in recovery if he wants to improve & it won’t be easy but there are lots of rewards to be had if he does.
Best wishes
Ann
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Harj - Your hero will always be there for you. Let him guide you now as he always has done
The hero may look vulnerable, but he is not - he just needs a little help now to do some of the things he may have done for himself in the past. He is having to adjust to his new condition as are you, but together you will succeed as you always have done.
Think of all the challenges you have faced in the past and how you overcame them. Think of the reasons why your Dad is your hero. These qualities and attributes haven’t changed - they are still there but the way you access them and use them is a little different.
Be strong, be overwhelmed - this is normal and natural. This is not the first time you have had to be strong and it is not the first time you are feeling overwhelmed. Tap into the experiences from the past and draw on the power of those experiences.
If you are doing your best, then that is all that you can do. If that is not enough, there is no shame in that and it is understandable. Your hero knows this and he will have instilled these values in you so that you can do what you need to do now.
Talk to your Dad - seek his advice and guidance as you always have done. He is still there for you and he will still guide you and support you. Do not underestimate the person in the wheelchair
There are a few things you should think about if you haven’t already done so. I am trying to think of them and I will list them here and they are in no particular order apart from #1. The most important thing you can do right now is #1.
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Contact the stroke association - you will find their contact details on this site. Call them and arrange to meet with them. The best thing that ever happened to me was when the Stroke Association member came to visit me at home. She was a mine of information and so very empathetic. I am sure we could not have had as much success with my recovery had it not been for this meeting. For us it came a bit late and we were lucky, but I would suggest this is the most important thing you can do right now.
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Get Dad’s care plan sorted. Who is going to care for him, when, where, how?
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I believe you are caring for him or it is his wish to be cared for at home. Is the home suitably adapted - if not think about what is needed and start putting it in place.
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Do you require financial help? Support may be available but sometimes you might have to initiate your self - Stroke Association meeting will help you with this.
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Are you going to be primary carer? If so, you may qualify for Carer’s Allowance and Dad may qualify for some support. Again check.
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Follow-up appointments and rehab. What rehab has been provided for Dad and what follow-up checks are needed. You must take ownership of this. Your GP and hospital discharge team may be able to help, but in my experience they cannot be relied upon.
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Own everything - this is hard, but you cannot rely on others. Do not assume things will be done - you know what happens when you ASSuME!
There is probably some other things I have forgotten, but I feel the Stroke Association (home visit if possible) help you sort all this.
Wishing you all the best.
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@ManjiB , OK, fair dos. A mistake on my part. Just trying to help.
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Hi @Harj1977
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear about your dads stroke.
I can see you’ve already been given some great advice from our members and I hope this community will be of help in the months to come.
Please do make use of this space and as others have said, have a look at our website and our information there and also don’t hesitate to call our Stroke Support Helpline:0303 3033 100, they will be able to help you with any questions you may have.
If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Anna
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No problem - it happens to all of us. You are helping and I am sure it is much appreciated. Sometimes links don’t work for whatever reason
Keep up the good work. I think your contributions have been a breath of fresh air to this forum and you are looking at things from a Carer perspective having cared for your Mum and this often adds a different perspective to things.
Take Care.
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@ManjiB , to be honest, not many people look at things from a carers perspective. I know many stoke survivors (plus other long term sick and disabled people) have a hard time, I get it but, it’s not exactly “beer and skittles” for us. Hence me giving advice as a ex-long time carer. Thank you for understanding. 
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Yes he will improve. It does take hard work; and a long time.
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