Any advice welcome

Hello, I have set this account up for my Mum in the hope that it will support her recovery. She has suffered a very severe stroke 3 days ago after heart valve replacement surgery. She is currently in the hospital but due to Covid we are very restricted on seeing her. Her right side has been effected and she has lost her speech completely and some vision. She has been refusing to eat, pulling out her catheter and removing her heart monitors. I can't even imagine how scared and alone she must be feeling. The hospital have agreed to let my Dad visit at meal times and she has started to take food and drink from him. My question is, does anybody have any advice on things we could send into the hospital? We want to comfort her but not overwhelm her but we need to motivate her to keep going. Any ideas or advice on similar experiences would be very greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Recently my sister was hospitaized and in convalescent care for 3 months after a valve replacement.  Of course, we sent balloons and flowers--but those things don't last or need care.  The thing I think she appreciated the most was a soft, cuddly stuffed bear.  One of his ears was a different color and his shirt said to whisper in his ear when you felt afraid or alone and he would always listen and be there for you.  My sister said she kept him near her and"talked" to him all the time.  It got me to thinking maybe there's a cuddly thing that your mom could press with her good hand that said "I love you" or something.  Over time your mom's head should "clear" some and she'll realize what's going on and begin to improve.  With occupational and physical therapy they will work on daily functions and walking, etc.  I was totally paralyzed on my left side three years ago, couldn't walk, could only drink gelled water, etc.  Now I walk 1 1/2 miles a day.   But it takes time.  Have patience, faith and don't be discouraged.  Your Mom will be in my prayers tonight.smiley Love, Jeanne

What does your mum like doing? Maybe some way of listening to music, the radio or audible books. Or you could record messages for her to listen to.She will be feeling very alone and apprehensive. I'm sure she'd like to hear your voice.



Thank you so much. I will send an iPod into the hospital tomorrow she loves music.

Dear Jeanne thank you so much for this. I think you can even buy cuddly toys that you can record a message on. I will look into this. You have done amazing and hearing your acheivement really does give me hope. Thank you.

After my stroke, I found classical music comforting.

Some kind people bought me a teddy bear with a personalised message included in it. (Mine wasn't for health reasons just a thank you by my sixth form students). Thankfully their left to makers details attached and so I searched out the makers for you this morning and found the link and how to include a message. Please find the link below, hope it is of some use.




2 years since stroke,  unfortunately particularly at night, have almost humming noise, in my head . Hoped it would stop, but no . Don't know if it's tinnitus ? or caused by stroke. Really don't need this in my head,  with brain fog etc . Any one else,  or advise,  would be much appreciated. Thanks David. 

Hi John , I just posted comment on poss tinnitus ? Seem to remember you might have had similar probs , if so ? Any advice.  Thanks David. 

Hi David, I've had tinnitus since I had the stroke over 3years ago. It's very irritating and always seems worse at night. I have a hearing aid I use when it really gets on my nerves which as well as playing white noise has the ability to turn down the noise as well. I also take aspirin daily.
A few weeks ago when the tinnitus was really irritating I decided to stop the aspirin for a few days to see if the tinnitus was due to that, but I didn't notice any change so I concluded that the tinnitus was an effect of the stroke. It might be worth asking to be referred to the hearing aid department for a hearing aid, it certainly helps to block out the tinnitus  although it doesn't get rid of it. Hope this helps


Hello David, I get tinnitus, it's stroke related for me. It's a nuisance, you have to learn to ignore it. I have heard that white noise, although a relief, can make it worse in the long term. Worth researching. You can get special hearing aids through the NHS that trick the ear, and reduce the sound. Tinnitus can be many different sounds, from humming to shushing, whistling, et cetera. Mine is worse at night and first thing in the morning. At night I listen to ambient music on a pair of sleep headband headphones, it masks it enough for me to get to sleep. 

I haven't David. My partner has had it for years and lives with it, but it can make many lives a misery. Mind you, it's one of the few things I haven't got. I'm half deaf, sight not good, have dry eyes and terrible hay fever. Hope you are coping. Living with the after effects of stroke is challenging and very wearing.

Hi John, Thank you so much for this. I have sent my Dad in to the hospital today with music and an audio book. Also an elephant she can cuddle that plays a recording from me. I'm so grateful for this advice from everyone, hopefully she will find these things soothing. Thank you.


Thanks Ann , I have nhs hearing aids , ( do not use as often, as I should, ) white noise ones , you have are they only for white noise,  can you get on nhs ? Has anyone tried noise machines to help you sleep & relax at night,  play sea , rain sounds etc , my brain does has almost forgotten how to relax.  Good talking David. 



Thanks John,  always good to read your comments. Luckily,  I do not suffer with some of your ailments. Thanks David. 


Hi Rups,  ?  Before realising, probably in my head ! Decided middle of night,  turn off all power to house,  go from room to room & then garden LISTENING  !

Your poss lifestyle reminds me of previous home,  barn conversion, top of hill , middle of nowhere,  north Devon. Loved it ! But hard work,  keeping nature at bay , badgers, strimming , hedges,  local farmers, great help. Locals , complaining about holiday homes. Really taught me important life things. People did not  judge you on latest car , carer etc . Live in Worcestershire now , which is somewhere inbetween  Devon & Berkshire, for this,  where I was brought up. 

Good speaking David. 


The hearing aid I have is a NHS one, it has white noise ,volume control and tinnitus level  which is what I use the most. I only have tinnitus in one ear and wear the hearing aid on the affected ear. I find that turning the tinnitus down helps a lot, it quietens the tinnitus rather than getting rid of it totally and makes it more manageable.


Hello,sorry to hear of your mums troubles.when I had mine stroke I found the monotony and boringness(is that a word?the most upsetting. at the height of covid not much visiting allowed but at least I could read,not very well but it gave me a challenge and kept me occupied,so I was wondering if you or/and family,friends/neighbours could maybe choose a book mum might like and record it with you/others reading it?that way she will hear your voices and maybe enjoy the story?might soothe her a little,maybe get  an easy to use cassette recorder or similar for her?just a thought.hope she's on the mend.sending love and best wishes  Bernadette x

Hello David, that actually is very funny, despite it being such a burden. laugh

HUMMING IN EARS (TINNITUS ? Noise machines )

Thanks Ann , hearing aids,  do you know make / model ? , live in Worcestershire might try nhs . How long ago was your stroke,  seen any improvements ?  Thanks David.