Alan and I

[ManjiB]

Hello @Sonia158 ,

I would like to start by saying this is a lengthy note and I have written it as my attempt to try to help if I can. I intend no malice or upset which can sometimes unintentionally happen when you write things down. So please accept this is a sincere attempt on my behalf to understand your situation fully and to help you as best as I can. Of course, you can totally ignore this if you so wish.

I am sorry if I am causing some confusion here by joining your case at a later stage from when you first joined this community and getting involved. I am a member of this community and it is my objective as a carer to get help and to offer help when I can. It is for this reason that I often chip in with my tuppence worth as it were

I am not 100% familiar with your whole case, but as I understand it you are main carer for your husband Alan who is a stroke survivor. Whilst you were caring for Alan, you yourself became ill and ended up in hospital. Having been discharged from hospital you are now finding it difficult to care for Alan

I note you say in a response to Ann @Mrs5K’s advice that

@Sonia158

I really dont know what the answer is but I know I have to face up to the fact that he will nevere recover.

To help me better understand your situation so I can help you, I read up some of your other posts on this forum and note that in October 2024, in a post titled Friends, you said the below.

@Sonia158

luckily we do have each other. We have had a good week. We had a Teams meeting with Occupational Health set up by his employer. Doctor conducted several tests on Alan and the call lasted for about an hour. He said that Alan was on the road to recovery and it make take a year or it may take 2 years but he said that he will improve significantly and will advice the college where Alan works that he is confident that Alan will return to work. He will set up another Teams meeting for January. He did say to us several times that it is early days.

We also had a meeting yesterday with stroke psychologist who will try and see what is available for not only Alan but also myself. On the whole I am feeling good.

Unless I have misunderstood, back in October 2024, about three months ago, in a Teams meeting with a doctor and an OT that was set up by Alan’s employer, you were told Alan was on the road to recovery which may take up to 2 years and that he[doctor] expects Alan will be able to go back to work. You ended that by saying “On the whole I am feeling good”

Having found out a bit more about your case, I am now not sure what may have happened to make you think that you have to " face up to the fact that he will nevere recover." when only as recently as October 2024 you were more positive?

Has something happened since October to change your view from such a positive where Alan may have gone back to work in say 2 years to him not recovering at all?

I am only trying to help if I can, but in order to do so, I first need to fully understand what the problem is and what help is required.

Namaste|