Advice about depression

Hi All. Dad had a severe stroke Nov 24 and he is still in hospital. Trying to support him is difficult. He is extremely down and the hospital has provided a psychiatrist. But we feel so futile trying to keep him going. Can anyone provide advice? 

Good evening, so sorry to hear about your Dad, that's sad news.  In many respects it's still very early days and he needs time to adjust to what has happened.  It's lucky that you have had the input of a psychiatrist, but he will also need occupational and physiotherapy to support him through the next stages.  You will receive plenty of support on this site, from those who have survived stroke, they will give you first hand information about what to expect.

Stay strong, ensure your Dad has plenty of rest, this will allow his brain to heal.

Take care xx

Dear Barbeg

Stroke very often gives waves of depression. If we fall into depression then our recovery will be slow at exactly the time we want it to speed up.

However, if Dad cant push depressioin away himself then medication and counselling can follow. 

You can not stop Dads depression, in fact you cant get Dad better. Only Dad can effect his recovery. Your support and care will be immensly helpful, but it is all up to Dad. If he wants to be hard done by/depressed/give up then its his choice, you cant change that.

I had clinical depression decades ago and I determined that I am not going back there, stroke or no stroke. I did get the advantage, as the waves hit me, that I knew it was depression attacking me. I determined it would not win. 

Many people do not survive a stroke and I survived. Dad survived. We have been chosen to live and so we should make the best of that gift.

Smiling is an amazingly big help. With stroke generally and with depression generally. So us SS must smile many times every day. If its not a natural smile then fake, false or forced will do nicely. This really does work.

We should be positive. We can and do get recovery, but its only us who can effect it. So do those physio exercises and take all the sleep/rest that our brains are demanding. And drink loads of water as the overheating brain needs it.

Dad should think about what he can do and not what he can not. A major first goal is to "transfer" then to transfer unaided.

My firsts were  to get my toes and fingers to wiggle, then the transfer. Being in bed all day theres not much else to do, so I did my tiny littel physio three times over. 

Things do improve.

Please say hello to Dad from me and better still perhaps he would like to read what I have written to you.

Best wishes





Thank you for your response. X

Thanks Colin.  This site is great because I can hear from survivors and how you felt and feel. Dad has never been a particularly positive person so this is additionally hard for him. We have a planning meeting tomorrow so fingers crossed. Well done Colin too for beating depression. You have overcome some challenges people haven't had to. Keep going. And thanks for helping. 

Dear Barberg

The fact that an untrained, brain damaged person like me, bad at English etc etc can help other SS says a lot about the lack of after care from NHS.

I like trying to help, but professional help would be better and it is a poor show that the follow up help is almost non existent.

Please Dad, be positive.

Write down your goals

Think hard on what you can do rather yhan what you can not

Smile loads of times every day

Lots of us our out here rooting for you


Your words and support appreciated. X