I was invited to present at the London AAC SALT conference. Here’s my presentation
Fantastic @Mich-mm @Mich-mm that you are attending this event. I have tried to look at your presentation but it says I need to request access.
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I’m sorry @Fallenleaf Try this:
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Thank you so much, I can access now! 
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It took me a long time to read, I got through about half of it but wanted to stop and say this is fantastic, you are clearly a very clever lady! I thoroughly enjoyed reading about how you have adapted so well following your trach procedure and using the speaking assistant. This is all so interesting, I look forward to hearing more from you and also what people say at the conference, you must tell us!
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Thank you @Fallenleaf that’sreally kind!
I was asked by a member of the audience ‘what additional features do you want your ipad to have? I didn’t really think very carefully and said ‘bake bread! ‘what i should have said is: ,emit Shock waves, low-frequency sound waves, and pulsed ultrasound types of waves that can trigger cell healing by stimulating the body’s natural regenerative processes.
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Hi @Mich-mm That’s brilliant. Thoroughly enjoyed reading, you have a beautiful way with words and you are very articulate, you must be so proud of yourself.
Hopefully we can see some more of your work. Well done.
Regards Sue
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Thank you @Susan_Jane i’m a school teacher so have done my fair share of presentations.
A school teacher, that’s wonderful! 
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Hi Michelle - this is a great presentation. Really well done.
I do hope the amount of joy of have from now on will be exponentially greater than the joy you have had as suggested on side 25 of your presentation 
You will know by now that I fully expect you to:
- speak
- walk
- eat
- and whatever else you put your mind to
And why do I expect this?
Because to me, you are not defined by your limitations, but rather by your [immense] potential
You will achieve this and you will be aided on this journey by whomsoever you allow to aid you.
My one request if I may is please move away from thinking that many people think you are stupid, have no cognition or have developmental disability. I honestly don’t believe this is the case, I expect the vast majority of people you meet don’t think that, though there may be one or two who are perhaps more ignorant. I think and I hope I am wrong about this, you have become paranoid about this. But perhaps I live in a dream world and don’t understand the attitude of the world towards stroke survivors?
I shall look forward to the day when you come here and post your successes having spoken, walked and eaten. I am not sure if this list is already out of date, since if I am not mistaken you are already eating.
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Thank you @ManjiB .you are right i am in fact eating. I am a 14-month-old toddler in a 50-year-old body. Yes i need to learn to talk again. My repertoire is so far ‘hi’ ‘thank you’ and ‘ok’. Many are demeaning toward me assuming that because i can’t speak i have developmental cognitive issues, i fight this everyday, just yesterday the GP was here and spoke to me as if. I was a stupid child! Speaking slowly and condescendingly. I fight this everyday. I hope that eventually my message will get through! No need for gaslighting or condescending or patronising speech… It’s a work in progress!
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This post starts with a disclaimer.
The below message is in no way intended as advice, personal comment or such like. It is merely a response by the author (me), it is not right and it is not wrong. It is a reaction to the original post and is not addressed to anyone in particular, but it may interest any unbiased/neutral reader who wishes to read it for information or to see how the mind of someone other than themselves might see things. The reaction is an automatic response whereby the author (me) is compelled to respond either verbally or in writing to get the thought/message out of their system before it does harm, and for the sanity of the author who has been known to spend hours or days just having things going on in their head and the only way to release it is to talk it out or put in on paper.
End of disclaimer.
____________________________
Michelle, you clearly speak from personal experience and so I cannot comment further on why people behave as they do when trying to communicate with you.
I can share with you my own experience in how we communicate with Mum. She has had a massive stroke and a lot of her brain has been damaged. She is aphasiac and we have relied on “expert” knowledge to guide us on many aspects of her care including communications.
We were told that when communicating with Mum we must:
- speak slowly
- give her time to digest what has been said
- only one person speak at a time
- do not have other sounds in the back-ground e.g. radio, TV etc.
This is how we were told we should communicate with Mum and for us there was no other point of reference and so that is what we did. Further, we advise the same to her carers and other visitors.
We don’t know if this is actually necessary for Mum, but it was something we were taught to do. By so doing, we are not patronising Mum, being condescending or in any way disrespectful. I cannot say how Mum feels about this, she may well think as you do but maybe she keeps it to herself because if she wants to she can communicate using hand signals and vocal but non-verbal communications which in no uncertain terms lets you know what she is saying, or at least so we think.
One note I would like to add on this and that is to say this as as someone has taught adults and who has on occasions done presentations. Before I was allowed to standing in front of a class, I was sent on training course where I was taught how to present and communicate effectively and one of the things that I remember that was said to us was to:
- talk slowly
- silence is good (i.e. pause after speaking and don’t worry about the momentary silene)
- repeat things (say and say it again)
- ask if what you have said has been understood.
The above points on “effective” communications were taught and which I followed were not for audiences with any communication problems - just your normal/average person, yet when I look at them, they could well be the same as how people seem to communicating with you.
Michelle, I am sorry if I am labouring this, but I feel bad that you feel that people are treating you in a way that I believe they are not, or at least they are not doing it exclusively to you, but rather that is how they do it in they day jobs because that is how they have been trained to. Of course, I could be completely wrong, but I am just finding it difficult to understand why you might be being made to feel uncomfortable in this manner.
I wonder, how your daughters see this. For example, do they agree with your view that you are being spoken to as if you are stupid? Perhaps if they are with you when this happens they can interject?
There, I feel so much better
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Hello @ManjiB thank you so much as always for engaging with me on the communication advice you have been given I would say all points are relevant for all communication encounters.when speaking slowly be sure not to sound condescending.stroke causes our brain to be ‘frazzled’ I’m afraid I don’t have a scientific term that conjures up what I mean, extra sensory info. Is indeed hard to handle I personally have no issue with quiet music or background tv.In fact I rather like sound,silence is deafening and lonely.
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Absolutely my pleasure and in case I need reminding, we are all different and we all deserve respect. Thank you for reminding me
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Hello @ManjiB i just watched this YouTube clip and was reminded of your comment,the fellow like me is treated as if he is stupid,
Hello Michelle - thank you for sharing this video.
I found it very interesting and I love the way these people are communicating. The husband and wife are amazing. I think in the main, they are very happy about communicating and in fact I was very interested when they met with his friend in the coffee shop who explained how Steve joined the group and for three weeks he said very little and so they just thought he was a quiet/shy person and did not realise the aphasia issue. This group never thought of him as stupid and if anything, I get the impression they welcomed him into the coffee club and had no problems with him and once they knew he had aphasia, they learnt how to effectively communicate with him. He has fitted in very well with his neighbourhood. Also, he found a way to deal with the dentist who was trying to by-pass him and communicate via his wife.
There was a brief reference about how in the early days some people thought he was stupid and as you say this made him angry, but overall I think he has dealt with this very well and I found him an excellent communicator - he is from a sales background and so would likely have excellent communicating/selling skills which may have helped him post stroke? Similarly, with your background in teaching, I expect this also helps you communicate better then some others.
Overall, I felt there wasn’t any significant reference to being treated as stupid and I guess even that would likely have been through ignorance?
Thanks for sharing and hope all is going well with your various therapies - I know you are enjoying the eating side of things 
Takes care.
ManjiBee
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