A Different Brain

I definitely am with you, @Strings @Rups @EmeraldEyes in the category of blurting out things at the wrong time because I don’t want to forget them. I met with Speech Therapist again today. She gave me a word for that which of course I cannot remember it now, but it is a common thing. She also told me when I speak I jump around a bit on the topic while speaking, likely for the same reason. I have always preferred writing over speaking because I can clean it up a bit before sending. I didn’t realize I had started speaking that way until she pointed it out afterward with reminders by repeating back what I had actually said. All I can do it laugh for now, but we are going to work a bit on trying to keep me on subject and/or task and to speak in a more orderly fashion, again.

Regarding the repeated story idea you don’t remember already having until you compare? That seems odd but makes sense to me at the same time. I haven’t quite had that experience, but possibly a bit similar with made up songs going through my head, full of nonsense words, much like singing in a different language, but it will very often be the same song over and over, for days or weeks on end. Almost like deja vu, but after a very short time, I will remember actually singing the same song, which I don’t know, again hours later, or a day or two later, again for up to weeks at a time. Weird.

Another oddity has been like re-living my life, chronologically, in my dreams. The people in them are from my past, very many of them long passed away, and mostly the living are no longer in my life, other than my children and their friends. All the dreams were good until recently. I have been reliving my marriage, so I am at least 23 now, but the dreams have become very unpleasant, just as the marriage always was. I don’t like it, but weird it really has been just like reliving it through the years, only faster. The songs that come to mind that I do know, are from each specific time in my life and mostly not songs I cared for to begin with, but give me a weird type of timeline like someone might use to convey passing time in a story. I feel like an oddball now!

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Perhaps we have something similar when watching TV, even before stroke.
You will be watching something and you think you have seen it before, not sure but think you have. Then it gets to a certain point and you know you have.
You might still keep watching if you can’t remember “who done it”.

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@DeAnn the more I read of this thread the more I realise that I am doing the same things as other Strokees. I immediately recognised the tendency to ‘jump around’ on a topic. I am actually aware that I do this and I think it’s wanting to cover all the bases and convey a full explanation of how I see the subject. The trouble is that it includes a tendency to go right back to where I started and begin repeating things. This is the point where I am often interrupted and asked how many times I’m going to repeat that. (by my wife, other people are usually too polite)

On the subject of dreams I find that many of them include people from my past appearing
in unfamiliar scenarios. They often end in an unpleasant or nightmarish way, but not always and sometimes they will include beautiful happy scenes with friends, warm sunlight and sweet music. Those are wishful thinking I suppose, a longing for happier times.

It’s comforting to know that one is not alone in habits and experiences, possibly the main reason I enjoy visiting the forum. It helps to dispel the loneliness of the long distance runner.

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@DeAnn, @Strings, @Nigelglos, These replies are absolutely fascinating and you can see that talking like we are here shows how we have similar ‘traits’ - if I can call them that - following a stroke. It makes me feel a lot more comfortable about myself and my many idiosyncrasies. I too, have nightmarish dreams and end up with my arms lashing about and my wife talking and calming me down again.
I don’t ever think about ‘life’ in my dreams like @DeAnn mentions, but I do have a similar thing when it comes to making appointments, etc., where I will not use a phone or engage in conversation to book an appointment, but choose to email/text and give my available dates. I know if I have the discussion on the phone I would have to have a library of dates and times available in front of me otherwise I wouldn’t remember, and if the receptionist happened to say, “I’m sorry we can’t fit you in on that date, how about…” That’s me finished! :rofl: :joy: :rofl:

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Speaking of odd dreams: last night I dreamed I learned the answer to some huge issue that would be very helpful to humans everywhere. I knew I was dreaming so I woke myself to write it down so I would remember once I got up for the day. The next time I awoke, I realized I must have fallen back to sleep without writing it down, and of course, not only had I forgotten how to solve the issue…I forgot what the issue even was. The answer was only two words.

If anyone thinks of them…please share…I would really like to remember!

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@DeAnn the answer is forty-two :rofl:

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Oh, good one! Is 42 the year? or the atomic number?

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Hi @DeAnn Were the two words either:

Wake up!
or
Alarm clock

That was funny to wake up to and read DeAnn. Hopefully everyone will put a list of their two words on here and maybe you will find the right ones :rofl: :joy: :rofl: :rofl:

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Forty two?
The answers to life the universe and everything :slight_smile:

And of course the question is “what are 6 nines (base13)?”

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I can’t believe I forgot that! Now I have to read it again, or maybe just watch it.

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Thank you for recommending, I watched today and must admit I cried a little, some of it really hit home, looking like the same person but being and acting differently. But know one really understands unless they live with you or are around enough to take notice of How it’s affected the family. With no support from the outside it looks like everyone is doing well and coping just fine. But subtle differences can make a big difference in the dynamic of relationships. Look the same but not the same anymore An interesting watch x

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Exactly same with me …. I noticed a difference not long after I had the strokes … actually in 2022 all within 2 months, I had 10 TIAs and 2 small brain bleeds. TIAs lasted 15-20 mins, with numbness in hands, shoulder, mouth too, but no droops … just couldn’t get my words out … never got to see a doctor in hospital or kept in any of the 3 times I was taken in by ambulance … we have a certain crap hospital up here …. But after a few weeks I realised my words weren’t getting out properly, and I often repeated myself, but brain was perhaps slower as I love quiz programmes, especially University Challenge as I like to try and get a few right …. But I knew answers, just couldn’t get them to my mouth quick enough to say out loud, some were on the tip of my tongue, just couldn’t reach them or “find” them …… and I would babble on too (just like now ! ) still like it now though 2 years ago :woman_shrugging:t3: …. sorry folk, I will shut up now x

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No need to shut up or stop babbling on here @Ismeval - we are all sailing along in the same boat, just chatting and finding out similarities, so keep 'em coming! John aka Bert

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No need to apologise :slight_smile:
You babble away as much as you like

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New stroke survivors are coming on here all the time. And all they want to know is if what they are experiencing is common post stroke and will it get any better.

If they read your post, your “waffle” and can relate it to their own experience, that’s all that matters! Your “waffle” brings relief and reasurance because you tell it in simple words that won’t overtax their minds.

So you need never apologise for getting your words out in the best way you can. I was reading posts on here for about a year before I was able to post myself. And post like yours brought me to tears, just knowing I’m not the only one. And it can, and will get better :people_hugging:

Personally, back then, the simpler the language in a post was, the better. If I needed a dictionary in order to understand what was being said, I just skimmed or skipped over those posts :wink: :blush:

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Wouldn’t have read most of mine then :slight_smile:

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Even terminology such as “learnt non-use” I hadn’t a clue about back in the beginning. And with the heavy time limits my brain put on me back then, I didn’t have the luxury of time to look it up on the internet :face_with_diagonal_mouth: That’s why I still try to keep my writing simple for the newbies . . . . although I do forget myself at times :wink:

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