3 years post stroke - Feeling lost

My partner of 22 years had a major stroke in November 2019, resulting in paralysis of the entire right side & loss of speech. With therapies he can now walk aided for a couple of metres & has gained a little of his speech.
We were not only partners but worked together as musicians so when the stroke hit we both lost our home, our job, & I became a full time carer.

I’ve tried so very hard to just get on with it, but this year my feelings have changed. I Def feel more like a carer now & when my partner hints at anything romantic it just makes me feel weird. I love him but I think the last 3 years have changed the way I love him. I feel mean thinking this but I just don’t want a sexual relationship with him anymore. I feel more like best friends.

It’s just the 2 of us, no help from family, & it’s becoming harder to cope - especially as I also lost my father suddenly & unexpectedly in July, & I’m struggling with my own health.

Has anyone else felt like this or am I being selfish?

@Puggy sorry to hear you’re feeling lost. You’re not being selfish at all. Stroke is a life changing event not just for the individual who’s had the stroke but for those closest to them too. Over the last 3 years you’ve spent loads of time caring for your partner & this inevitably impacts your relationship. As @Mahoney says maybe its time to see if you can get some help with your partners care so you can have some much needed time to focus on you a bit.
I know it’s difficult but are you able to explain to your partner how you’re feeling?
Best wishes to you both.
Take care.

Hi , Im Tony . Having read your letter , i empathise with you .Im 2 and a 1/2 years since my stroke and the only thing i would say is , have you told your man how you feel ? If so . how could you possibly be selfish . 22 years is a fair amount of time so you obviously know each other well . I do know from my own head that honesty for me would be easy to cope with and deal with whats happening . R.I.P to your Dad , and sorry fro your loss . Tony

That’s a difficult one. You’ve both been through so much. It’s not helped by you being together 24/7 either.
Maybe a relationship councillor could help??

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