Thank you Tony for your heartfelt analysis of your stroke journey.
I think that most stroke survivors can relate to the huge impact not just physical but emotionally and the continual adjustments needed to cope and move forward with life and not curl up and feel sorry and give up
personally I was looking to see how if any recovery was made later on and I found your post, I myself am approaching my 3rd year and I have found myself reflecting and through other medical events very grateful to be able to keep going and likewise grateful for the level of use that I do have and how important it is to maintain it
so yes time keeps moving forward and so must we with all our ailments as every day is special and a gift
again thank you for your frank and thoughtful insight and I clung in to the comments made early on in any stroke recovery that everyone recovers in their own time
Thanks for your message and for a thoughtful response to my post of some time ago. I don't have a lot to add, but now at over 5 years post stroke, I'm still here, still adapting to my disabled condition. Physically things are still very frustrating. I lost a bit of strength in my affected leg, the left, over the lockdown months and it has been a struggle to get the motivation back to try to rebuild that strength. It is coming, slowly. Walking is not going to return as it was, but I have decided that continuing to keep at it is the best way as it can only help with general health and it may give me back something I've lost. I have not recovered any real function in my left hand but the spasticity has reduced so it doesn't clench in a fist all the time as it used to, so who knows, maybe new connections can still be made. If I had to categorise year 5, I d say the predominant theme is acceptance. Which is different from resignation or giving up, I don't know how to describe the difference yet. I don't really like the idea of "the new you" that some commentators use, it might help some, but for me it doesn't address the grief that for me is a constant companion.
I will repeat an important theme from my 3 years reflection, it is the support of loved ones. I can't stress enough how important that has been for me, and my heart goes out to those who haven't had the benefit of it, as I know that there are some. For me it's been a life saver, literally, at least once. So let me wish you well in your continuing recovery keep in touch. Thank you for your message of hope, I appreciated that very much.
Thanks so much for describing your years of recovery Anthony, I am at the 17 month point so into year 2 struggling with being disabled, lost my job uncertain as to my field loswhich is holding up my driving your story gives me hope.
Thanks Tony your story has helped me regroup myself and focus on the year two and hopefully three.
My never ending low grade discomfort in my head is more annoying than being disabled as it makes one feel under the weather all the time, hope my brain fixes that soon and I can focus on living pain free in the world of the disabled
Thanks tony great summary, I too lost my job due to disabling don’t miss it or the stress, looking for a position that fits my recovery needs as my settlement won’t last forever, here’s hoping. Wish arm leg and pain would come good maybe that’s for years 4&5.
I just got your comment today for which, many thanks
Thats quite an old post from me
Im now 7 years post stroke ( as of last month). Recently I have found anniversaries a bit difficult so haven’t given updates.
Work seems very remote these days and I hit statutory retirement age in 2 years anyway so I am not looking for anything now.
This period is more about acceptance and hope within that. It has taken years to come to terms with the losses of function and to get to the right moment to move from working on recovery to focusing on adapting. Ive struggled a lot with that. Much of the motivational talk is about " fighting it" honestly I am not doing that anymore. I’m simply grateful each morning that I am still here ( and somewhat surprised!) Actually quite a nice way to begin the day. I have much to be grateful for and life is pretty good mostly in spite of my considerable disability. I still get the dread fatigue occasionally which can be depressing. I bought a small powered wheelchair last year which has made a huge difference. I don’t yet go out unaccompanied. I sm lucky to still have family at home who accompany me. I buy them lots of treats and make full use of companion tickets for shows and outings it isn’t easy and I do get low occasionally but I am in a much better place now that I don’t have to go to work. The stress was unreal. It must have taken a good 2.years for that to settle down. I suspect there was a kind of PTSD going on. Id have bad dreams and flashbacks about the worst parts. Good riddance to all that. I have another life to live.
Hope all is going well with you
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and to comment
All the best
Thanks Tony it’s a pleasure to understand your journey and how you feel about your life.
I’m another 7 years off retirement and am lucky to have my wife and son in the home.
I concentrate on recovery in-spite of very little evidence that my situation has changed. I still get out in the car and make every effort to get to places we as a family have been able to go to. It makes life more normal and easier.
It gives my wife the sense of things being more normal I owe her that much. When I’m better than I am now I can prepare for support img her through the aging process, good luck.
Hi Tony thanks for diarising your experience in the three years of recovery.
I see many parallels to my own situation.
I have moved to a bungalow and retired at 61 as my disability still means that I cannot walk as before and no movement in my left arm. My new house has a good garden and fish pond so plenty keep me busy.
Accepting being a disabled person is hard so any recovery is celebrated with vigorous
Thanks Colin a ver interesting read and in many ways mirrors my own experiences. I’m not driving yet but hopefully soon if I pass the assessment. Gardening is providing help to my patient wife and input on plant types etc, hoping to grow some seedlings next spring.
Good luck I enter year five next January and hop to have arm movement even basic joint moves rather than from the shoulder alone, my stick walking needs to improve and fatigue diminish.
All in all as a disabled man I could have been a lot worse.
Take care and good luck. Mark
I have just read this from the very beginning with Tony reflecting on his 3 years as a stroke survivor and others responding. It has been very interesting for me to read all the experiences you shared and how you helped each other.
Perhaps you have continued on other posts on this forum, but I wonder if you are still contributing to this forum and how you feel today (nine years since the stroke for Tony?).
I wonder if anyone will come back with an update - I should be most delighted to hear from anyone who has contributed to this post.
I have no update I reached out to understand where progress had come to to gain a parallel understanding with my own situation as there are many similarities.
Wishing everyone a speedy recovery and good health for the future.
Hey Mark - people move on. Something I was reminded of today by another one of our regular contributors. Hope you are keeping well, mowing the lawn, washing the car …
It’s life
Not too bad been working on my block paving and attending church.
My wife was having morbid thoughts about what woul become of me if she was unwell
I told her I’d cope but slowly and get used to being on my own after twenty years of marriage.
Not that I could cope better in the short term but long term I’d need sup from family or social services.
Glad you’re keeping busy and able to attend church.
You could always tell your wife you would cope and in fact you would help her whilst she is feeling unwell and also maybe not to worry about things that haven’t happened and may not happen?
I know it is not easy and perhaps it is human nature that leads us to think like this.
Thanks for your kind words she is much improved now but it has made us decide to create a notepad or book with details of the things she does for me and the house that whilst I’m slow and hobbling in my gait I do get there so can do most things if I have her instructions and the book would be my reminders and a schedule to follow .
It’s a plan and gives her peace of mind that should in years to come she has to be away from the home for a short period I can cope with my son’s assistance.
My motto is always have a plan.
