Karen and I can both drive, but Karen drove because (a) I can’t drive our car and feel safe, and (b) Karen doesn’t feel safe when I drive…(I hate driving. Being autistic I find predicting other road users nigh on impossible)
So, I know I have to tell our insurers, and return Karen’s licence to DVLA because she has right sided weakness and cognitive impairment (Suddenly shes calling me by her ex-husbands name as she can’t recall mine- ouch, lol) and she will need permission(?) to drive again.
I would be much happier if we could change our car (which was actually a motability car before we got it) for an automatic, and something a little smaller that I felt confident enough to drive, even if it’s only 10 miles to medical appointments (but Karen is adamant we can’t change the car!), so I feel very unsure of what I should do. We have three months till the MOT is due, but I don’t know whether to SORN the current vehicle and just wait and see how Karen progresses, or go against her wishes and change it (I can add her son to our insurance so he can drive it)…
Any thoughts. suggestions. experiences to share? It’s just another thing I’m dealing with in my own muddled way.
I can’t help with the admin part (I don’t drive any more either and feel much the same about getting behind the wheel as you do) but I do think you should try to avoid going against her wishes and trying to change the car. She’s likely to feel that she’s no longer in control of large parts of her life, so removing control of another is going to hurt. Nothing wrong with continuing to try to convince her as what you’re suggesting makes perfect sense, but if I were in your position I’d prefer to involve her in the decision.
I do agree, and didn’t want to be hasty. She always said she preferred an automatic, but we got a manual, just hoping that this might be the catalyst to change to something we can both drive.
@2Weevils The first stage will be to notify DVLA of Karen’s stroke. They will then inform you what you need to do next. If they want her licence back they will say. I didn’t have to return my licence (and I wasn’t allowed to drive for 3 months) but I did have to have a medical assessment before I could drive again. Other people have to go for an actual driving assessment but like I say once you notify the DVLA they will tell you what the next stage is.
With regards to changing the car that’s something you will have to resolve between the 2 of you. Karen is likely to improve over time and now might not be the time to make decisions about the car etc as you may end up having to change it again sometime soon. If Karen got higher rate mobility on PIP for example you would then become eligible for a Motability car. I changed my car for an automatic in the end but didn’t do it for many months as wanted to see what level my deficits settled at and whether there would be any further improvements which would make changing it an unnecessary expense. But you have to do what is right for you.
Is rushing towards driving absolutely necessary? Do you live close to amenities? I sold my little Nissan Micra after stroke, I saved for five years on not paying insurance, MOT and tax. I was going to buy a Citroen Ami which retails at about £7000 or so, but changed my mind and got an electric moped instead. Haven’t ridden it yet as I adapted my life so well to not need personal transport that I can’t think of where I should go on it yet.
We live in a town which is quite rural, and the bus services are pretty inadequate, so if we need to get anywhere, eg to a hospital appt, we really need a car to be able to get there.
In the meantime, there is the NHS Healthcare Travel Costs Scheme which may be useful for tacsi rides, you need to be registered with UC, but with both your conditions, you might hopefully be eligible to reclaim travel costs. If you can afford it, have you considered getting a second, cheap, smaller electric car for you to drive?
I surrendered my license as I wasn’t allowed to drive for 12 months after having seizures as part of my stroke. Trying to get my license back after the 12 months was a very long drawn out process. The DVLA are incredibly busy and as a result are very slow. It took me 10 months to get my license back and I didn’t need any assessments to get it back.
The difficulty is charging an electric car round here, and they’re expensive to buy, even second hand. Neither of us get UC, but I will have to investigate hospital cars, I think, until we know more about Karen’s limitations.
Yes, I had read about people struggles to get their licences back. I have completed the online form and now it’s up to the DVLA as to whether they request her licence.
