Hi. I’ve just joined here to look for a bit of guidance and support.
Its been an extremely emotional and stressful week. My Dad took a massive haemorrhage stroke last Tuesday, was declared palliative last Wednesday, sat up and had a coffee Friday morning and declared he felt better, Saturday he spent a good couple of hours trying to communicate despite difficulty.
Since Sunday he has been largely unresponsive and sleeping but is eating meals and has had rehabilitation twice this week.
As you can imagine this is a lot to process in the space of a week. I know its very early days and very unknown what is ahead. There is the added complication of trying to travel back and forward between Northern Ireland and Scotland going forward as well. I already feel guilt that he may be facing this partly alone at times.
I really would appreciate any guidance for going forward. Thanks
Explain your situation, as you have here on the forum.
They might be able to set you up with a video link so at least you will have a direct line of contact with him some of the time.
At this early stage there isn’t a lot you can do apart from be there for him.
It will be quite a while before they have him stabilised and settled into a routine.
A stroke is a horrid shock full of unknowns.
Both you and he need time to process all this.
Again talking to someone on the help line can give you a sense of direction.
No one is ever prepared to deal with all this.
Stay in touch on this forum, where you will get support, comfort, understanding and friendly conversation.
When I got home from hospital I got a cheap second hand laptop computer and started visiting this forum for myself. I found peer support and diversion here for which I will always be grateful.
All those affected by stroke both the one who had the stroke and also family and friends too are welcome here. We are here for each other.
@MuddledMcQ I’m going through a not-to-similar experience but, for different reasons. Just been there for your Dad is a very good start. It will give him a lift emotionally. If you can’t be there physically, call the hospital (or wherever he is been cared for) for regular checks. I’m doing something similar because my mum is in a care home (not through choice) because of a very bad stroke. Visiting is hard because I can’t drive, I need to rely on public transport and occasionally taxis. She is in a care home in Salford, I live in Wythenshawe, Manchester. The distance and travel time is fairly big. Visiting wise, I’m lucky to visit once a week. I’m trying to go a little more often but, I’m overwhelmed with other matters including filing legal papers (Court of Protection). Where do you live? Northern Ireland or Scotland? PS, my mum’s born in Ireland. Cadbrah West, County Dublin. She live in Finglas and moved to the UK when she was 20. As for extra help for your Dad, ask the doctors and nurses but his condition. That way you can find out what level of care he needs. Hope this is helpful.
@MuddledMcQ hi & welcome to the community. Sorry to hear of your dads stroke. It is one hell if a shock when utllit happens & takes some coming to terms with. Just take it one day at a time for now & try not to think too far ahead. He will need lots of rest after what has happened & it isn’t unusual for someone to sleep loads in the early stages.
Aa @Bobbi says maybe to help with keeping in touch ask the hospital if they can help set up video calls which may help reduce the need for travelling back and forth.
It is too early to say how things will develop but just being there for your dad will help him loads.
@MuddledMcQ - nice to meet you and welcome to this forum. I note you have received an excellent response to your post and hopefully this will help ease some of your concerns.
I echo all the wonderful advice already given and would suggest doing what @Bobbi says - The Stroke Association will be able to give you specific advice depending on your Dad’s condition. Others have already given generic advice, but if you require any more help, please do not hesitate to write on here.
Wishing you and you Dad all the very best.
In closing, there is life after stroke, so please do your best, seek help and don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed.
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear about your dads stroke. It sounds like it’s been emotional week for you.
I would definitely echo what @Bobbi has said about calling our helpline. They have a wealth of knowledge and will be able to guide you in what should be happening in these early days with regards to your dads care.
It’s always difficult for the family when these sort of things happen and even more so when there are long distances involved, I’m sure your dad will understand that you won’t be able to visit all the time and if he can use a video calling service that may help to keep you more connected. I would also say, make sure you’re looking after yourself too, it’s easy to forget yourself when things like this happen but it’s just as important that you take care of yourself.
I hope you’ll find this community helpful in the coming weeks and months - please do pop back on here and ask any questions to our members, they have so much knowledge through their own experiences. If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
@MuddledMcQ (cool name), No problem, glad to help. I just want to give people the benefit of my experience. Also, the dos and don’ts. I like you am trying to find out what is best to do. You can’t go wrong with this forum. Also, try CarersUK.org. There are people on there you could also chat to who are going through similar problems.
