A short love story
A man and woman who had never met before and were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping
room on a trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and a bit uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman to say, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”
“I have a better idea,” she replied “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”
“Wow! That’s a great idea!”, he exclaimed.
“'Good”, she replied “Get your own fricking blanket.”
After a moment of silence, he farted.
The End
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For me, it’s almost accurate. Considering the sight in my left eye is poor.
Here’s something you don’t want to read on a Valentine’s Day card: “Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’m escaped from Broadmoor and I’m looking for you”. 
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Love the clown picture. So that’s what the comic book villain Joker has been up to recently…
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Love the “You’re drunk!” picture. It’ll be much different if he had a night out in Dublin. 
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Great. When I get chance I’ll check out GreatCleanJokes.com. Look like a great site, right up my street. I’d tell a few gags of my own but, I’ll be banned from the forum.
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True Story that is also a joke. (It really is true.)
I was doing tourist stuff in New Orleans one summer and had gone down to the waterfront. I was sitting on a bench looking out at the water when a guy came up to me and offered me a bet. He said, “I bet you $5 I can tell you where you got your shoes.”
I was from several states away so I figured there was no way this guy could guess which shoe store at the local mall I had purchased my sneakers at. So I agreed to the bet.
The guy put out his hand for us to shake on it and assured me he would pay if he was wrong and asked me to do the same. I did.
He grinned and said,“Now I’m gonna tell you where you got your shoes. You got your shoes on your feet!.”
I laughed and paid the five dollars.
The Story of Creation as told by Dog
On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog. 
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Some dogs have more sense than humans.
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