A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience…
Seeing God she asked : “Is my time up ?”
God said :
“No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth !
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded :
“God, you said I had another 33 years to live ? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the Ambulance ?”
God replied… (you’ll love this! 
) …
"I didn’t recognise you… !!!
That rubik one is very profound to my stroke brain.
Merry Christmas you lot! 
At 85 years of age, Morris married Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected “knock” on the door.
Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Morris, her 85 year old groom ready for action.
They unite as one. All goes well, Morris leaves his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Morris.
Again he is ready for more “action.”
Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Morris is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more “action” And, once again they enjoy each other as Morris gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, “I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often.
I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Morris.”
Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says:
“You mean I was here already?”
