New girl


I'm new to all this having suffered my stroke a month ago. The treatment I received was excellent and I spent 10 days in Scunthorpe stroke unit and was transferred to Hull for the last of what felt like every test and scan known to man. I left hospital with a full diagnosis and lots of meds and I have a physio who comes once a week. I feel incredibly lucky that only my right arm has been affected to any debilitating right side is slightly weaker but not enough to affect walking. Unfortunately I am right handed but I can feel movement coming back a little bit every day. When I first came out of the hospital I was crying o lot, mainly because of frustration I think and I couldn't sleep what with my right arm flopping about like a very heavy dead fish. I don't like people seeing me, don't want anyones pity, even family make me feel like a zoo exhibit.. I know they care and they are being kind but I never have liked a fuss being made. Anyhow I would like to know how you peeps deal with other people, I can't seem bring myself to tell them all to 'but out'.  Maybe I should be more grateful. Any advice concerning any of the hurdles I may face in the future will be appreciated. I'm Jo  and I'm 53.

Hi Jo, I'm 49 and had a subarachnoid hemorrhage (bleed in the brain) in April, so haven't any physical after effects fortunately but do get tired easily. I found it very hard to accept help to start with as I'd always been very independent but have now learnt it's better to accept it as my OT said it's only because they love you & want to help as they've had a huge shock as well. Sorry I can't help you with any hurdles you might face as the only one I have is hopefully being able to drive again so I can go to back to work but hope you are starting to feel stronger x

Hi Jo, Welcome aboard!  you will be able to ask lots of questions on here and there are many of us stroke survivors that may be able to help.  Sounds like you are really doing well considering the stroke was only a month ago.  Mine was nearly two years,  I was able to return to my position as teaching assistant after a year off, but only to two 5 hr days.  Everything just takes longer, I found it easier if people were staring to tell them I'd had a stroke.  Just you wait til they say oh you look good!  we all moan about that one as they have no idea how we feel inside!  and if you have stroke fatigue like I do, I tend to explain that it is nothing like being tired, its like a wave going out to see taking all your energy with it. Ring the Stroke line and ask for the contact details for your local stroke coordinator hopefully there will be one in your area.  Mine was amazing, helped with everything from form filling, to just listening.  There advice was great.  Good luck keep in touch. Wendy  

Just remember that if people stare it is because you are so beautiful.

A warm welcome!!!!

Welcome Jo. One of the hardest things to do is to recognise and accept your own disability. I am still partly disabled after my stroke three years ago. I had valuable advice from an old friend who has been more disabled and longer. Her advice to me was, ‘Wherever you go you have as much right to be there as anyone else’ and you do! Do not give way to more able bodied people who block your path or to those in supermarkets rushing towards you with theirvtrolleys. Just stand still until they find their way past.

If I find people too demanding to cope with, I simply tell them politely that I am tired and need a rest. I am firmer, however, with those who want to help me out of cars or across the road. I refuse with a firm ‘no thank you. I can manage’. Sadly, not everyone understands stroke and some friends and family are quite indifferent. Others are wonderful and helpful without being patronising.

You sound to have come out of this episode fairly well and that bodes well for the challenges ahead. When physio ends go keep up the exercising. Tai Chi and Yoga help as well. You are among friends on this forum so ask us anything or just let off steam if you need to.