New and not coping

Dear Marie
I’m so sorry - I am in a similar boat but a few months ahead. My husband had a big stroke in September just before his 65th birthday. He was fit and well and working beforehand so it has utterly changed our lives. He was in hospital and rehab until for 7 weeks and it was a very hard time. In the first couple of weeks I got exhausted as I’d wake at night and then not get back to sleep, and I became very tearful. I went to the doctor, concerned about my sleep and after discussion I started on an antidepressants- a serotonin lifter. The doctor explained that under stress our natural serotonin levels deplete very quickly and I needed to boost mine so I could support my husband’s recovery. It has helped me no end and I would encourage you to see a gp if you continue to feel low and teary. It’s a long journey ahead of you, and me! If we have that kind of help in the early months as we adjust and get going on this new path then that’s fine and good. It doesn’t mean it’s forever.


Hi Marie

So sorry to hear that your husband has suffered a stroke. It is a hugely confusing, life-changing and unsettling time for you both. Many folks have made the point that you are not alone - the huge benefit of a forum like this, where folks are able to speak from experience and provide support at such a harrowing time.

You are in the very early stages, yet, so it is reasonable to anticipate that there will be noticeable progress. It may help (and it certainly helped me) jot down little steps to progress in a diary or journal each day you see some glimmer of progress. Then, in days when you feel there’s little to celebrate in terms of progress, look back to remind yourself how far he’s come. It may be emotional, but it’ll prove very worthwhile to celebrate any steps forward.

Kindest regards and richest blessings to you both!



@nadine.parkinson @Stewart1 - thank you for your kind messages.


Dear Marie
No two stroke subjects are the same, Nor are carers for that matter! I had a stroke in 2006. It was and is worse for my dear wife than for me. She has coped with my hemiplegia for all this time and will be ninety later this year. We are in SW London, for what it is worth, Yes, it’s a life changing event but there are lots of us around.
Please, keep in touch.


Hi, I just wanted to add to this great advice, as I also went down a similar route and it really helped! Be it medication, talking therapy, something else, or a combo of different things, it can make a big difference.