This is a very important thing to note. What you are being told by the doctors is them erring on the side of caution and they tend not to give “optimistic” expectations in case the worst happens. Many people are given the same information as you but often this turns out to not be the case and people make recovery - the extent varies on a number of factors including age, the rehab support, the persons mental strength, physical strength, their ability to tolerate medications etc. There are many factors that affect the recovery from the situation your Mum is at. The good news is she has already defied odds and is making good progress. Due to the extent of injury (damage to brain) this may be slow and you should not try to hurry things. Your Mum is elderly and she may need more time than someone who is younger.
The best thing you can do is support your Mum as best as you can.
You are in a good place because you have your brother and your children and you can all help each other to support and care for your Mum. In addition, you will get help from the NHS after they determine what sort of ongoing care support she requires. Try to get as much information as you can and be aware that they will err on the side of caution and so may be reluctant to offer certain things which they will deem as not beneficial in the long term. Your Mum’s age might lead them to put your Mum in palliative care rather than ongoing rehab. For this, you may have to try and fund it privately e.g. physio which is very important but they tend to offer only six weeks or so to someone in your Mum’s condition. But you can keep asking and if you/your Mum can demonstrate you are benefitting from this, you can keep asking. But at the same time, be aware that your Mum has to be able to tolerate this and she has to be in the right frame of mind. The last thing you want to happen is her to get dejected and give up. We have to try to be realistic and sometimes for us as carers we forget and we might expect too much from Mum.
As much as you want her home and I would suggest home is probably the best place for her, she has to be ready to cared for at home and the home has to have all the adaptations in place to meet her care needs. This is very important - don’t take her home unless the home is ready and she is ready to be cared for at home.
You can so it and she can do it. Be patient and be prepared to challenge the doctors - use her recovery as leverage to get the proper care and support plan. The hospital will be keen for an early discharge which they will base on Mum being “medically fit” but it’s not as simple as that and the care plan and package as to be properly assessed and put in place.
From what you have said, I can say that your Mum has come a long way and she has got an excellent chance to make a good recovery but it must be well managed and it won’t all be plain sailing. There will be ups and downs and you as carers must take care of yourselves as well as your Mum but there is no reason why this should not be a success. Finally, these things are relative meaning we measure/interpret success according to our baselines which tend to differ and so I hope you will understand what I am saying has to be adapted to match you and your Mum’s baseline and expectations.
You will have plenty of support and you may need it until you are able to manage on your own.
The outlook I am presenting to you is based on experience as a carer for my Mum who started from a similar position to your Mum, though in our case the damage was done by the clot which was untreatable i.e. the clot buster did not work and the subsequent attempt to remove it by a specialist did not work either. Mum’s story is well documented on this forum and you may find it helpful to read it if you have time.
Just from what you have said, your Mum is already in a better starting position than my Mum was and so I see no reason why this should not be a happy ending.
Wishing you all the best.
Namaste|
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