# My Ex husband has had a massive stroke. Please help

**URL:** <https://onlinecommunity.stroke.org.uk/t/my-ex-husband-has-had-a-massive-stroke-please-help/47420>\
**Category:** Share your story\
**Created:** [15 September 2026 19:42 UTC](https://onlinecommunity.stroke.org.uk/t/my-ex-husband-has-had-a-massive-stroke-please-help/47420 "2026-09-15T19:42:37Z")\
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**Author:** ![Boyce73](https://onlinecommunity.stroke.org.uk/letter_avatar_proxy/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Boyce73](https://onlinecommunity.stroke.org.uk/u/Boyce73)\
**Post date:** [15 September 2026 19:42 UTC](https://onlinecommunity.stroke.org.uk/t/my-ex-husband-has-had-a-massive-stroke-please-help/47420/1 "2026-09-15T19:42:37Z")

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Hi all.

This is my first post. I hope it’s in the right place.

My ex husband had an ischaemic stroke which converted to a haemorrhagic stroke. He then had a craniotomy. This was 6 weeks ago

His sister who he is not particularly close to, took over as nok and I only found all of the above out 8 hours before he had the craniotomy. She asked did I know what his wishes were before the craniotomy and I advised I did and she chose to ignore them anyway.

It’s has been 6 weeks and my ex husband is paralysed on the right hand side, cannot follow commands, cannot speak, is incontinent, is hardly eating and wasting away. He is in there but does not understand. He Will have 4 moods in an hour with the tears being the hardest for me as I feel for him so much. I have no clue what or how he is feeling

Since all of this happened I have used all of my leave at work to be there for him. To let Drs, therapists and nurses know who he is and what he likes and dislikes. Bring anything they need for him. Support him and let him know I am there. His sister and mother will visit for one hour every Sunday and that is it. They made the decision that has left him like this and then have just left him. I feel so sad thinking of him just laying there 24 hours a day and I am literally killing myself physically, mentally and financially to be there for him as much as I can. My life as I know it has been non existent for the last 6 weeks and I am struggling.

Can anyone offer advice on how I keep going or if anyone has been through what he has and have made some sort of recovery let me know

I want to be there for him as I cannot switch off to any of it but it is affecting my mental health a lot anger for his family and extended family who do not bother and sadness for seeing him in a portion he would never want to be in.

I just don’t know where to turn right now.

Thanks in advance.

Lesley.