Love in the time of Covid, part 3

I wrote here several months ago concerning my former fiance who had a stroke back in August of 2021. It is my intent that this message be short, to the point, and does not take up too much of your time.

I recall posting about the events which transpired in August of 2021. My former fiancé still resides with her family in Missouri to this day. My question is this: as I still reside in Maryland and she does not see me on a daily basis, is it possible that she has forgotten about me? I was with her at the ICU everyday and was later at the long term care facility with her everyday. She was transferred in September and was discharged in June of 2022.

Prior to me, my fiance was married and had already divorced in 2016, prior to moving to Maryland USA. I developed a rapport with her ex-husband. He had recently informed me that she still emails to him, apologizing for ending the relationship due to the stroke. They had divorced in 2016 prior to when she met me. After discussing the matter with the ex-husband, he and I appear to be in agreement that she is confusing me with him for some unknown reason. She still emails him, writes him, and I recently mailed her a Christmas present and the thank you text I received was days late.

My question to you is, while I am not there everyday in person, it appears as if she has completely forgotten about me. However, I am not sure how to interpret the correspondence she conducts with her ex husband. Friends and family members have suggested I perhaps make arrangements to visit her in Missouri. Despite whatever the time of my last email, I endeavored to not give up on the girl.

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Hi @TheMaestro

The only answer we can give is surely “who knows, nowt as strange as folk”

Isn’t the only answer “go visit”? so you can ask directly?

It would be sensible to prearrange, either directly with her or her family


Simon

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Simon,

Thank you for your reply. As indicated, I do appreciate your 2 ¢

And thank you for the insight of making arrangements with her family before I go all the way out there

Kind regards.

TheMaestro

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Interesting problem. …and if you’re contacting her family (good idea, for sure) ask about her memory; does she confuse or muddle up other people / places / things in general? Seeing you in person, hearing the sound of your voice, your presence, your aura may trigger and stimulate her memory enough to sort things out in her own head. .Either that, or you’ll find out for sure if her feelings towards you have changed. I would go and see her in person. You’ll have to decide about the timing, sooner rather than later? Good luck, Roland

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Panda,
First and foremost, thank you for your response. I greatly appreciate it! :+1:

I community with her and her family through text message. The mother tells me she has no memory issues but in the past it has been established I cannot rely on attestations from the mother for several reasons.

Due to the communication only being through text messages, she does not see me, hear me and here:

“Chris she doesn’t want to hurt you. She is so thankful that you helped her but she is not in love with you and it makes it hard for her when you send her gifts “

The above is a text message the mother sent me when I asked whether she received the gift I got her. Now….despite that my former fiancée sent me this like 10-15 minutes later:

“Hey! Sorry, I forgot to send you a message yesterday. I received my Christmas present yesterday and I have put it under my tree. Thank you!”

It’s confusing but thoughts from this community and your own experiences are greatly welcomed

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I think the only way you are going to know for sure, one way or the other, is to speak with her face to face. You could maybe do it over zoom/face-time or something like that. Heart matters of this nature are delicate and more so over long distance. It can only go one way but be prepared for the worst, and hope for the best. Good luck🫂

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Emerald, thank you for your advice and guidance. I really appreciate it. I just thought it would be prudent to get others thoughts as to what I would do and another form of contact other than text is what I am getting out of this; I’m looking to additional thoughts from others thanks, once again.

Kind regards,

The Maestro

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Would anyone else care to share their thoughts?

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