Hi, I am new here and just thought I would tell you a little bit about my partner, he had a stroke three weeks ago and we live in different countries. It was all arranged before Christmas that I would fly over to him in March but now I feel so helpless and I can’t change my flights so I am just an emotional wreck. I send him video messages twice a day and his daughter plays them to him and he tries his best to speak to me on a video, his speech and balance are affected, but I’m really not coping with him living 8000 miles away. Can anyone offer any advice for me to allow myself to move forward and not just sit and cry.
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I would use this time to read up as much as you can about stroke and have peek into what carers have written on here in the forum before your flight … and then when you get there, you’ll have inner resources you can draw upon. Crying is cathartic and allows the mind and body to destress from emotions.
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I don’t know much about relationships and certainly wouldn’t be able to advise on long distance relationships.
What I can say is pretty much anything is possible if you want it to be so. I subscribe to the saying “Where there’s a Will, there’s a Hay!”.
We are in February now and March is a month away, so I wonder why you cannot change your flights. I would have thought that there is always an option to change flights or travel arrangements and in exceptional cases this should be definitely possible and I would suggest your circumstances are exceptional.
I wonder whether there may be more to you being an emotional wreck that we are not party to.
From what you have said, I see no reason for your to just sit and cry - there is plenty you can do. It’s a question of what do you want to do? Ask yourself this question and once you have answered it you will be free to move forward.
I wish you all the best.
Namaste|
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@BrightEye100 I am sorry to her about your partners stroke. I am a stroke survivor and can imagine how difficult it is for you. I was in a different county from my daughters and grandchildren when i had my stroke and it broke my heart, cause all I wanted was them to be with me but as they have children themselves that was not possible. So I have great empathy for you. My oldest granddaughter was broken hearted which I found out later, she kept asking her mum to take her to her Granny, this pulled on my heartstrings. Would you consider moving to whichever county he is in? You should be able to change your flights, by explaining your circumstances to the airline. Did you take travel insurance?
Hi @BrightEye100 and welcome to the community. Sorry to hear of your partners stroke and the extra difficulties you are facing because you are in a different country.
I would agree with @Rups re researching as much as you can before you go so you are in the best possible position to help when you get there.
I am sure the video messages you are sending are helping him loads & in time his messages back should improve too. The fact that he is trying to so them is encouraging.
Try not to worry too much. It sounds like his daughter is taking good care of him & I am sure when you arrive she will be glad if a little break as caring is tiring.
Try & focus on what you can do to help him when you get there. This will give you something practical to do to distract you from all your naturally upsetting thoughts.
He wouldn’t want you to be so upset and would probably be very upset himself if he realised.
Take it 1 day at a time. It will get easier especially when you finally get to see him.
Best wishes
Ann
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear about your partners stroke. I can only imagine how difficult it must when you’re in another country. It’s an emotional time for all involved and as others have said crying can be cathartic.
It sounds like he’s been well taken care of and I’m sure your video messages will give him a boost too. As others have said take some time to read about stroke and have a browse round this forum - there is the 
in the top right hand corner you can use to search for things. Reading will help you to be more prepared for when you do get to spend some time with him.
If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Anna