I suffered a stoke 10 months ago causing expressive aphasia and was brought to the local NHS stroke unit.
I have recovered well with a few minor language and cognitive issues. I am using recommended meds daily.
I was cleared to drive after 4 weeks but my two daughters asked that I be tested for driving. I took the Institute of Advanced Driving’s Over 75 years driving test and passed exceptionally well.
However both daughters will now not allow me to drive them or any of our 3 grandchildren.
I drive my handicapped wife regularly both locally and to the Southcoast where my daughters live. And I have recently joined them all in Italy using a hire car there.
I think they don’t trust that I might another stroke.
Could anyone have any comments about this or help how I can change their minds?
Congrats on passing the Advanced Driving test. When I first started driving again my reaction times were tested and I was very proud to be better than most people my age If you are on the right meds you are probably less likely to have a stroke than your daughters are.
@Engayneman Hi & welcome to the forum. Sorry you’ve had a stroke but good to hear you are doing ok.
Thats a difficult one in relationtp your daughters. You’ve done everything they’ve asked and passed with flying colours by the sounds of it. Time might help but for now I think all you can do is remind them you’ve been cleared for driving, that you’re on all the right meds to help prevent another stroke & those meds will lower your risk & probably put you at lower risk than prior to your stroke.
Just use all the examples of the diving you’re doing with no incident. You might also perhaps asking your GP or consultant for a letter stating that you’re ok to drive.
If there was a huge risk of someone having another stroke whilst driving the DVLA would not return a licence to us.
Thank you Ann,
Stroke survivors, like me, don’t have formal certification of fitness to drive after your consultant in hospital gives you a 4 week approval.
If you have had your licence to drive suspended, you have to get a DVLA approved test. Which are expensive and have a long waiting list
You are right but the fact that your licence wasn’t removed means they are content that your risk whilst driving is mo greater than anyone elses.
I was not able to drive for 3 months after my stroke as i had vision issues. I didn’t have to sit an assessment to get it back though. I had to go for vision assessment with specsavers & a medical with my GP & then the DVLA wrote to me to say I could keep my licence.
Hopefully your daughters anxiousness will settle in time.
Hi @Engayneman just popped in to welcome you to the forum
Their fears, I suppose, are understandable, after all you still have aphasia and cognitive issues plus your age against you in their eyes. So, because they don’t see you completely recovered, maybe they perceive that as a sure sign another stroke is imminent. And that’s likely due to their lack of understanding of strokes. You and I know differently only because we are living it!
The fact is, the odds of either your daughters being involved in a car accident with a drunk/drug driver or speeder are greater than you having another stroke whilst behind the wheel.
And your daughters are just as much of a risk having a stroke while driving. Anyone can have stroke, it can be hereditary, related to heart condition, can be the result of a neck manipulation, etc, etc, etc. In fact I’d even go as far as to say your grandchildren are probably safer as a passenger in your car than theirs. Your daughters are more likely to have an accident if they get distracted by the their children in the car. I could go on and on, the list of statistics is are endless
Cognition for me came back onboard about 2yrs after my stroke (I think) and I still have mild aphasia. So there is still plenty more recovery to come in you too Funnily enough the cognition came on in a lightbulb moment the very day we bought a new car And yes, I’ve been driving for over a year now both with and without precious cargo onboard
I’m reminded of a couple of quotes by your post. Neither of which fits without amendment but they are
Quick hire a teenager while they still know it all
And one attributed I believe to Oscar Wilde that goes “when I was 20 I was embarrassed to walk down the street with my father but by the time I was 30 I was surprised how much he had learnt”
as others have said above you met the standards required by the medical profession to be recommended to the DVLA, by the advanced driving institute to have been awarded a pass and your stroke risk is being managed probably unlike your daughters and grandchildren who are at risk of a stroke as is all of you at risk of being hit by a meteorite or being swallowed by a sinkhole!
Nowt so strangers as folk, family especially so!
Really great to hear that you have recovered so much capability enjoy the independence while it continues and if your daughters won’t share that with you I am sorry for you but suggest that you do not let it hold using it for your wife and your pleasures
I really appreciate your response EmeraldEye. I hope I get to discuss your points with my daughters but, at the moment, they are avoiding the subject. This suggests that they are embarrassed taking such a stand , so I will slowly catchy monkey
Hi there and welcome. My husband helped me practise driving again on quiet roads and I did ask a driving instructor for an hours lesson when I thought I was well enough to get back to driving. She said I was fine but to go out for a short drive every day to build my confidence back up. Luckily my family have always trusted me to drive their children . What I wioild say to them is you have been tested again and got through with flying colours and you are now on medication that hopeywl stop the chances of another stroke. Just remind them that bad things can happen at any time to anyone eg heart attack, blackouts etc and we won’t know until it happens. I was surprised when my daughter in law was ok wx me collecting the girls from school etc so I’m sure the longer you stay well they will come round. Good luck regards suzywong
Funnily enough the cognition came on in a lightbulb moment the very day we bought a new car 
