Oh Deigh, how long have you been living in New Zealand, Whittakers is as Kiwi as they come. New Zealanders visiting Australia would, in the day, bring a bar of Whittakers chocolate as a gift. It is the largest brand of chocolate in NZ.
4 Likes
Well hello @AlisiaGayle
You’re being amongst friends here, but my story is very much like a pot luck. 3.5 year post-stroke, my arm is still paralysed, my leg/toes has only 10% recovered which is mostly within 6months from the stroke, nothing further. My voice is going backwards to mute again after some coaching, some practice, and navigating aphasia but again is mostly Within 6months from the stroke.
But, I don’t blame the nurses, the doctors, or the other posters on here either, putting nice but hollow statements around “you’ll get better with time”.
Putting all your hope on “getting better” is naive without adaptability as well - my left writing is awful (beginner level) but I adapt; since my voice, on the very best day, is 10% of normal (and is going backwards), I am currently learning sign language AND working it out text-to.speech software and again, I’ll adapt.
I am not one of those drainage sewers, pulling people down to my level. I am being honest about my life story, like, right now, I am in A&E for the second time in as many days, on morphine, trying to find the answer of a heart attack or not, lung deflation or not, or something else.
I’ll adapt when the answer is known.
M
7 Likes
@ManjiB say it loud 
3 Likes
With pleasure - that’s all I/we’ve ever been doing.
That said, we have to be mindful that in reality, not everyone will achieve what we have achieved, nor will they expect to achieve.
This is seen in all walks of life - each person has a unique life and outcome. Superficially there are similarities and it can be argued we are all the same and we all have the same potential etc. etc. etc.
In life and on this forum, it has been demonstrated time and again that actually when we say we are all different, that is actually very true and yet we all want to be the same? We are seeking answers and trying to find ways to achieve what person X or Y did, but not realising there is/are reasons why they achieved or did not achieve.
What we achieve or don’t achieve ultimately boils down to us as individuals and how much we are able to pr want to push, drive or aspire whatever word you choose use. No we cannot all become Prime Minister or President, we can’t all become the World’s best footballer, or Musician or Brain Surgeon.
But here is the interesting thing from my point of view. We can ALL become the worst or less successful or underachiever or however you wish to phrase it. And why is that?
Why can’t we all become the “greatest”?
Why is it so much easier to be “average” or underachieve"?
I will allow the reader to answer those questions because I believe it is important that we ask ourselves those questions and then answer or try to answer them.
Wishing everyone success in whatever they wish to aspire to.
2 Likes
When I was 19 I had strokes #1 - #3. I was told a lot of stuff back then. In your post above, you said that neuroplasticity continues. Nothing is forever, with the obvious exception of death. And not even death is forever. I’ve been thinking about people I’ve met fairly recently and who have gone on out of our physical world, and I know that someday, when I am like they are, I will see them again. Every day I wake up and pray thanks to God for my life and health. There are several other points in that prayer, which I will not mention here.
I used to walk from my wife’s workplace back to our house every single day. A distance of 2 miles. I did that from the time I was a little past 20 until the year I turned 40. When I was 40 I was walking home one day and well, I was RUNNING home. My left leg (which had been weak since my strokes at 19) gave out and I fell on the road to our house. I remember looking for a spot to crash into, but there were deep ditches on both sides of the road. So I dropped right there in the road. I broke my jaw and my little finger.
The reason I don’t go out anymore and walk home is because of fear. So, basically I’m keeping myself bound here in our house. I don’t talk to a lot of people. But now, I’d like to get to know some folks. That’s why I write in here. Some misguided attempt to prove that I was here for the time when I’m not.
2 Likes
Only one person explicitly said my rehab would be limited because of the damage had been done. NHS staff helped me push as much as I could but the first time I met my private neurologist physio she was quite adamant that the brain will keep trying to rewire, and cited her previous patient who she has been seeing for 10 years !
I think your point about finding the right stimulation is well made.
After 18 months I have almost no movement in my arm, but can now walk 4km.
More power to your elbow !
3 Likes
I have mixed feelings on this. I haven’t had improvement really since about a month after stroke. (Nearly 3 years ago) I have a good friend who has cerebral palsy, I am similar to her in many ways, I don’t think she would agree that her brain doesn’t stop trying to rewire! She will not ‘get better’
Grieving for your old self is painful, I think getting to acceptance is vital for happiness. This does not mean I stop trying and I still do new activities to stretch myself even though it’s very hard.
4 Likes
You are correct, acceptance is best for our wellbeing. This piece isn’t about acceptance, but rather whether or not some accept too soon before the brain itself decides.
2 Likes
Accept, adjust and adapt. That’s a survival skill and we are all surviving in some way or another.
3 Likes
Hello Mas,
I must tell you a little story about the nature of Fear. In my 40s I was taking Spanish lessons with an international group of 10 people between 30 -55 yrs old. The teacher asked us in Spanish “What are you afraid of”. This was the early 70s and people were saying things like I’m afraid there will be a war, I’m afraid I’ll get cancer, I’m afraid my son will fail his final exams, etc. When it came to me I was unable to think of anything so I replied “nada” nothing. The teacher thought I didn’t know the word in Spanish. To her and the group it was inconceivable anyone could not be afraid of anything. This prompted me into hours of reflection on the nature of fear and I realised that it was never REAL. Someone is always afraid of something in the future. It is in their imagination. There is nothing to fear in the present moment.
3 Likes
I love this 
2 Likes
@AlisiaGayle , I’m a carer (sort of) for a stroke victim. I too am doing small things to help mum recover as best as possible even though she is in a care home in Salford at the present time (I live in Wythenshawe, Manchester). I too have been researching ways to help mum recover as best as possible. I admit though, I get weird looks from the “care workers” at the care home when I’m doing my part to help her. As I’ve said to them many times “I’ve been my mum’s carer for 30+yrs. I can’t do any worse than you!” Reading on what you’ve wrote, it’s given me more ideas I’ll chase up when I get a chance. 
4 Likes