Starting over at almost 60 wasn’t exactly in my plans, but life has a way of redirecting us. I moved back to Texas this summer to be closer to family—it was time. I had recently lost my younger sister to COVID, and my beloved grandmother, who I was very close to, had just turned 102. Looking back, I truly believe God guided my decision, because if I hadn’t moved, I might not be here today.
A month after returning home, I had a stroke. I remember feeling disoriented after a trip to the store, but by the time I got home, I was fumbling and confused. Thankfully, my sister noticed something was off. Her quick thinking—along with my cousin’s help—got me to urgent care in time. The doctors confirmed I was in the midst of a stroke and immediately put me on life-saving medication before rushing me to the ER. I spent 10 days in the ICU undergoing countless tests and procedures, eventually having surgery to place a stent due to a serious aortic blockage.
It was the scariest experience of my life. I was fortunate that we caught it early, and I avoided major physical impairments—just some facial drooping that eventually corrected itself. However, I still struggle with memory and expressing my thoughts, which is incredibly frustrating for someone who has built a career as an educator, writer, and storyteller.
What’s been hardest is that, because I look “fine” on the outside, many people assume I’m back to 100%. But the truth is, recovery is ongoing, and it’s a process that not everyone understands.
I know I’m not alone in this, and I hope to connect with others who are navigating their own post-stroke journeys. I want to share, listen and support as well as hopefully get supported.
Hi Tony @blerdman and welcome to the community. Sorry to hear you’ve had a stroke but you’ve found a supportive & caring place to be.
It does sound like moving came at the right time for you. I do believe thinfs happen for a reason even if it takes a while to know what that reason is.
The good news is that if you work at it your memory & thoughts should improve over time…probably slower than you’d like though.
This is not unusual & a lot of people experience it. Not just with stroke but with any invisible illness.
I found this a useful way to describe how i’m feeling to people. Although I have a physical disability as well so don’t experience the you look fine piece as often.
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear about our stroke but glad to hear you had some quick thinking relatives!
This is a great place for you to share your experiences and also support others. There are many people on here who will be able to offer support and I’m sure there will be some along shortly.
The graphic that @Mrs5K has shared is a great one to show to others to try and help them to understand. We also have some information on our website about the different effects of stroke - some of which are hidden, which you may like to show people. You can find the webpage here.
If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
I’m 4yrs post stroke now and it took me the best part of 3yrs to recovery short term memory and cognition. I still struggle with speech and expressing my thoughts … Aphasia … just not as bad as I used to. One the best exercises for me with those areas, was being on here and responding to posts. Reading out loud and working on expression and tone of voice was also an exercise. But I was working from scratch with no speech ability; but it came on, improved with time and plenty of practice, practice, practice, which I got a lot of here
Hello Tony @blerdman and welcome to our community!
I am sorry for the loss of your younger sister and your beloved grandmother. It is pleasing to know you had been directed by life to be closer to your family and that this may well have saved your life – God moves in mystherious ways
It is wonderful to have you join us, and we look forward to sharing experiences of stroke survival with each other. I am sure with your career background as an educator, writer and storyteller we can look forward to much enlightenment . I have a feeling, with your educator and storytelling experience, you will find ways to help others understand that whilst you look 100%, you are still on the path of recovery, and this is an on-going process. Looking forward to it
Thank you for joining us and for letting us be a part of your onward journey
Ann @Mrs5K – that is a great graphic. I might just use it myself if that’s OK with you?
Hello @blerdman ,welcome to this not so exclusive club and greetings.
Firstly I too have got grumpy with people saying “you do look well” then my daughter said “what do you want them to say?”. @Mrs5K has shared an amazing visual image.
I look fine but memory gaps and changes, which can be worked round show something has changed but I have no doubt will improve even more in time.
It would seem that it was a serendipitous series of events which have served you well.
Hope you continue to visit here. I am grateful for the pencil which allows edits even when already posted. Writing things down is a great help.
Feel free to use the graphic. I borrowed it from elsewhere & thought it summed things up quite well.
@Bagrat I think I agree with your daughter. People are usually just being kind & I think we have all said it to people at times. I usually just say thank you. Those that are impacted by my ongoing issues I spend more time explaining them to.
Wow Ann thank you so much for your support and sharing. The image you shared is so spot on and accurate. I will definitely use it to help folks to have a deeper understanding.
Wow it is inspiring hearing about your journey. The Aphasia (new term for me) is really a big thing. It’s like a know what I want to say but my speech does not match my thoughts. My quick wit and dialogue were one of my superpowers so not having them is kind of disheartening to me. I hope like you said my interactions here will help me to improve.
Thank you so much. I am already feeling better about not feeling so alone and misunderstood in this post stroke journey. I agree that God moved me and I have hope that everything I have loss I will regain and be in a much better place. And yes I am hoping to use my gifts as a storyteller and educator to this recovery journey.
Yes I know folks mean well but there seems to be the underlying tone that you should be better and OK to do all the stuff you used to do including work in the classroom. But being able to monitor and interact with so many people is beyond challenging right now. Thank you for sharing your own story. I look forward to getting to know more.
Oh I’m sure they will improve in time too. I know all this recovery takes time, as in years rather than months, how quickly really depends on how badly you were affected. But don’t ever give up hope, this is a marathon not a race
Meanwhile, you might want to read up on all things Aphasia to see whereabout yours fit. Ask you stroke doctor/neurologist about this too.
Thank you. As much as I get frustrated with other folks thinking I should be back at 100% by how I look on the outside. I guess I need to give myself some grace so I don’t think things will just snap back over night. As you say this is a marathon of healing not a race.
Here’s two more things worth reading, some of these will resonate 40 Things A Stroke Survivor May Need. Also Welcome - what we wish we’d heard at the start. Sharing these with family and close friends may give them a better understanding of what you have to live with, what they can’t see and can’t begin to fully understand. Sharing some of the posts from this forum may also give them more understanding.
We wish for our friends and family to patient and understanding because we’ve had a stroke, shouldn’t we be as patient and understanding with them because they haven’t
Thank you that is sound advice. Our network has had years to know us as something else. The stroke changed things so you’re right. Just like I am getting used to this new paradigm I need to give other folks grace in how they adjust. And thank you for the literature.
Hello, Tony
You are not alone. I too am on this post-stroke recovery road and find it difficult to help others understand my journey.
There are no outward signs of my stroke, so most assume I’m back 100%. I will say I am doing very well a month and half out, but I have made many adjustments to ensure I can resume normal activities.
Early on after being released from the hospital, I was having many days of what I described as fuzzy head. That has subsided some, so I’m intentional about getting proper rest and not overdoing it. The fatigue is real.
Be patient with yourself. And educate those around you. Sending you good vibes as your recovery continues.
Sounds like me in many respects. Fuzzy head is what I call it though feeling proud this am as at 80 managed to help a younger friend having probs with her fb account, so some grey cells are in good order.
Wendy
Thank you Drea. We seem to be on similar post stroke journeys. I still get a bit foggy sometimes and although I am slowly getting back to my walks and gym time I can get fatigued somedays and need to rest or nap. Thank you for sharing your journey and sending you good vibes as well.
