I am still early in recovery from CVST and subarachnoid haemorrhage. I can do many things walking, talking, daily functioning for very small time periods. After 10 minutes or so of the deep concentration to converse or walk to school drop off/pick up I start to get really wobbly and “mixed up”. My right leg starts to “misbehave” and it makes walking painful. My friend said just get a stick, it’ll help when you’re wobbly. I got a stick like upright handle walking stick. She was right. Went to pick my son up from school yesterday and parents were pointing and staring. One group of parents “she doesn’t even need that”. One delightful human even said " you don’t even look like anythings wrong, you look fine". I know I’m an adult and it should be like water off a ducks back but I didn’t choose this, I just want to be silly mum that plays with my little lad at the park or goes to gigs with my older kids.
Your brain has suffered a major trauma and needs time so it is not surprising if you flag after a little activity.
It is not your fault if other people are ignorant. If people stare tell yourself it is because you are so beautiful.
None of us chose this. I am sure in time you will find ways to have fun with your lad. At least you are still here to love him. Nothing that could happen to you will change that.
To be honest I’m shocked they would even react that way, what kind of people are they ?! I’d keep well clear of them, they’re just weird 
Seriously though, they are too ignorant for words, steer clear of them. Or you could always try re-educating them, personally though, I wouldn’t be bothered. These are school gate gossips and cliques, they will always have someone to pick on, tomorrow it will be someone else. Picking on other people’s issues just take their mind off their own. It somehow makes them feel better about themselves 
So in a way, you’re their therapist 
Lorraine
I can’t know what drives them to make such unkind comments, but I agree that simple ignorance is probably part of it. Keep using your stick, be proud of your determination to keep going against the odds, and remember: you’re experiencing something that they can’t imagine and if, heaven forbid, they ever have to go through something similar they might well regret their words.
And my reply would have been how am I supposed to look then.
I had someone say to me you don’t sound like you’ve had a stroke. Hmmmmm. Didn’t know there was a way you’re supoosed to sound.
But Lorraine is right they aren’t worth the bother but it does still hurt when people say these things. They are just ignorant.
Hugs for you.
Ann
Sometimes when I read posts on here I feel I would like to offer some help or share my thoughts and in fact I seem to do this quite a lot! What troubles me is I am not someone who has had a “Brain attack” (aka Stroke survivor) and so I do not speak from personal or first hand experience. As a result most of what I say is based on second hand knowledge, experiences or interpretation of what someone that is very dear to me might be thinking or feeling as a stroke survivor. I feel that I have learned a lot during my time as a carer and in fact during my life as a whole. I am rambling on a bit here and I should like to cut to the chase and so if you find anything I say offensive, useless or such like then I should like to apologise in advance.
As I recall you (@Elvie ) joined recently and introduced yourself with what you said might be an uncommon story. And what I read did sound a little uncommon and I recall you had some bad experiences with a GP who may well have been negligent and things didn’t improve much as time went on. But you have made it this far which is a great achievement after all you have been through.
Given all you have been through I can understand you might be having difficulties and seeking comfort and some positives and so when you experience something like you did when you went to pick up your son from school, I can imagine you might feel a little disheartened, angry or any number of emotions.
Your post (this one) is titled
Feeling like a faker
Let me ask you, why do you feel like a faker?
This is a serious question.
Let me ask you a few more things and I am asking these things to try to get you think about how you feel and why you feel that way.
The incident took place when you went to pick up your son at school.
I am curious (I am not a cat and so I won’t get killed for being curious!), before you had your stroke, what did these same people say to you? Did you ever have any interaction with them?
Did they know you before the stroke (have they a before and after image of you)?
What about your friend who told you to get the walking stick. Is that friend part of the school run?
I don’t know you and I don’t know the people who were commenting but I do wonder, as others have said if these people are ignorant. But then I go back to myself and I don’t know why but I have yet to encounter this sort of behaviour towards us. Maybe we have been lucky or maybe we are too thick skinned to notice such comments if/when they are made.
There is much that bothers me about this post and I am trying to find ways to help as you are not the first person to share this type of experience on this forum and I am at a loss to explain how/why there is so much ignorance when it comes to stroke survivors. What worries me most about this is that these are adults (Mums) behaving on this way.
Further thoughts
In your post, you do not say (sorry if I missed it) how you interacted with these “bullies” or ignoramouses.
Again, I refer to the history i.e. do these people know you before and after?
As you were within earshot of the comments, did you simply at the time ignore them or perhaps you felt uncomfortable to ask why they would such things.
I note and as I understand it, there was more than one such groups, which I find rather worrying - to have more than one group of ignorant people is very disturbing. And so I wonder then if these are some sort of anti-social people and whether they spoke about you in this way before you had the stroke.
In closing, I should like to say that if these people are behaving in this way, I wonder if this might be considered as a form of bullying and is so whether the school governors should be alerted.
Something about this is not right but I am not sure I know what.
I do hope I have not caused any upset, but I am compelled to respond as I do because I have things on my mind and I find this as a form or release and I do so in the hope that it may generate some sort of thinking that might be considered “out of the box” or thinking positive.
Why do I/should I feel like a faker because of what someone says?
Sadly these are people that I’ve encountered for years just through all 3 of my children going to the same school. I generally keep to myself, I am far too old for school mum gossip and cliques. I do have a few friends at the school gates who have been nothing but kind. My friend who suggested the stick isn’t from the school run and has stood by my side through every horrid step. She’s seen me too proud to ask for help.
As for responding to the petty comments, i just ignored them. I don’t have time for them.
I live in a very disadvantaged area where education isn’t a priority for some and I don’t just mean academic.
The A mericans have some lovely phrases. The one I’m thinking of just now is “you can’t fix stupid”. These people have so little in their minds worth sharing that they can only make such comments. Well done you for not rising to their unwanted comments. Sadly there are more people like them than there are decent folk, but I suppose we need all sorts to allow us to make the comparison.
Well Elvie - there is nothing stopping you from doing this is there? You do this and maybe they might even join you, who knows?
You are indeed an adult and from the way you conducted yourself during this unfortunate incident I am sure you won’t have any problems.
As long as you are comfortable with this, there is no problem. However, if it is bothering you then you may wish to find ways to address this. By this I mean, you don’t want them thinking you’re a soft touch and they can carry on “bullying” you. Maybe I am mistaken and you don’t feel bullied and perhaps you see it as “just immature people” which is fine.
You go right ahead and be that silly Mum and play with your lad in the park and go to gigs with your elder kids. That is what life is all about.
Take care.
:praty:
I’m so sorry others are making you feel this way. I know it’s difficult to ignore such unkind comments but the most important thing at the moment is your recovery. Ignore the comments and focus on making your recovery the best it can be.
@Elvie , the people who say that know nothing. Never mind what they say. As other have said, your brain has suffered trauma and you need time to recover. Unfortunately, recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. As time goes on, you’ll need to make adjustments so you can cope. A use of a walking stick is a good start. Also, try contacting you GP, other local health authorities or the people who are on this forum. There are staff who are dedicated to helping people like yourself. Even though I’ve never had a stroke, I’m speaking as an ex-carer (my mum had a stroke for several months until she died recently). I hope the advice is useful.
Unfortunately, the cliche stroke strikes again, I feel that to have a stroke one ought to look like what is commonly represented as what a stroke survivor looks like. I always find it interesting to see how actors portray stroke survivors, either on telly programmes or films. Other conditions can be worn on the inside; heart conditions, cancer, genetic diseases, neurodiversity et cetera, but stroke seems to need to look like stroke before some people can extend an empathetic thought. Maybe brains struggle to relate to damaged brains in the same way our younger selves may not be able to imagine our older selves. I don’t know, I feel I want to get metaphysical about it all but know if I do, I’ll likely tie myself into an existential knot.
I’ve experienced the same kind of thing, as I rehabilitated my physical symptoms over a few years and now look and sound as people expect but inside I am still wobbly as a bobbing apple at times, and I too carry a stick for reassurance as well as pleasure.
I love the “you can’t fix stupid”.
Hello Elvie, Sorry I’m a bit late coming into this chat about the ignoramuses we sometimes encounter. I’m interested in your experience with the stick. I’m two years post stroke nolw, but I still use my stick for stability and also a bit of confidence that I’m not going to fall. I am trying gradually to reduce using my stick, (I’m fine at home, its the uneven surfaces when I’m out). I had a go with a friends walking poles and I find I walk much better with them. Not that you should pander to these idiots who make comments, but the poles are used every day by some people who are ultra fit and are using them as a status thing. So you could adopt the 'Amandaland’ double speak and say that you are moving upmarket. Those silly vacuous persons may take that on. Then you will know exactly how ignorant and stupid they are. I know that may come over as not helpful to you, but my philosophy is just walk a mile in my shoes and keep your useless opinions to yourself! Good to meet you, Norma 751
Boh finds an mddic are telling me I’ve recovered well but I reel quite useless a lot of th time. Stupidipi hings keep hjpening. i locked myself out of my phone this morning and got i o into a viscous vicious circle about an unpaid bill.I lose concentration easily.
@caggygill Here’s a tip just for you 
This is a tip I was given many years ago.
I found it very helpful.
Slow down. Take a deep breath. Be deliberate.
Please try this. Slow right down. Be very deliberate in your thinking and your actions. It will help you focus. It will help you to concentrate. Listen to the silence. If you hear the silence, that is a good sign.
I repeat my advice.
Slow down. Take a deep breath. Be deliberate.
@Elvie , very true words. I’d also add “stupid is as stupid does” (for the ignorant people).