Devastated and confused

Hello everyone


This afternoon Ive found out that my partner has had a stroke ? I'm finding it very hard to accept he's 38 and last week was diagnosed with bowel cancer and had a stoma fitted then discharged 6 days later. From Wednesday he had stopped drinking and become severely dehydrated, I called ambulance after ambulance and they said there was nothing wrong even thpigh he had slurred speech and complaining of burning headaches they told me I was freaking out over diagnosis.. finally yesterday they took me seriously and took him in, they left him tucked away on a side ward all confused and not being able to speak properly for 24 hours. They finally decided this afternoon he's had a stroke and now aren't providing any care for that as he can't get a bed on the stroke ward and is on the waiting list but could be a week. Im so annoyed at the ambulance service and the hospital just leaving him there with no care not even IV fluids to keep him hydrated. Then they turn around and have said he may not make it home ever again. I'm finding it very difficult to to accept what's happened and so are the kids. Sorry just needed to rant in a very dark place right now and sinking fast.

Gosh none the wonder you are struggling. Im no expert but am recovering from a stroke last Autumn. I do know that on day one I couldnt walk on day 3 I walked again so there is much time for the brain to improve its signal sending ability. All strokes seem very individual so medics seem unable to predict outcomes and effects. Have faith and belief that improvement from the stroke damage can take place. I wish you all hope and strength and just wait and see what each day brings the body is a remarkable thing and the brain has many ways of coping.  

Mumbie, I feel deeply sorry for your predicament. However, once a stroke has been diagnosed doctors tend to be duty bound to give the worst prognosis. However, the brain is amazing and can repair itself. That said, your partner has had a brain injury and is now a different person to who he was before. He will also be fearful and insecure and will need lots of support.

The fact that he is not yet on a stroke ward does not mean that he has not been stabilised. Presumably the cause of the stroke has been ascertained and dealt with by medication. Once on the stroke ward the hard work of recovery will begin. He will need grit and determination and the will to recover. Please encourage him all you can.

You will need care and support as well because stroke puts pressure on partners as well as survivors. I am three years post stroke and can walk reasonably well, cook, do a little ironing and go on short holidays. I am 75, he is 38, so he has youth on his side.

This forum is very supportive. Feel free to ask anything you like and let off steam if you need to. We are all here for you.

Dear Mumbie, This is such a frightening event for you and your family.  You have already received some good advice and support, and it is true to say that it takes time to work out what will happen post-stroke, and what your partner's recovery will look like.  Keep pushing, if you can, to have him placed on a stroke ward, my husband never got the appropriate care when he was in hospital, and those early days are crucial.  (He has subsequently recovered well, but part of me feels resentment towards the lack of speedy diagnosis and specialist care in the first week).  So, I feel that it's important that your partner should be in the right place, to receive the right care. Try to keep pushing for that to happen.  

Your partner will need a great deal of rest, his brain needs this time to start the healing process.  If you have time and inclination, Google "A letter from your brain", this may help you to have an insight into what is going on 'inside'.  

Take good care, stay strong, these are difficult days, keep posting, all good wishes,  Nic 

Hi, what a situation to be in.  How well do you know your Doctor, I found mine was a great help, you could tell him whats happening and he may be able to help you.

Youre hospital will have someone you can complain too about their lack of care for him, I would get onto that if I were you and they should also have a patients rep that you can email, who will look into things.

Don't you worry about ranting, you sound as if you need too, so any time is fine.