Can anyone help?

My mum had a severe stroke last summer which left her with a severe right side weakness and unable to walk .

Despite initial input from OT and physio they have now left her to get on with things her self and she has completely lost confidence in her ability to regain any mobility and struggles to find the motivation to try walking .

She says her confidence has gone and I’m at a loss as how to get it back.She feels she has been left to wrot with nobody checking her progress any more ,who can blame her ?

So where do we go from here ? I’m at a loss any advice gratefully recieved.

Hi unfortunately, this seems to be a reaccuring theme lately, my suggestion would be to contact the Stroke line find out if there is a local stroke coordinator and speak to them as there are things they can do to help.  Also, get in touch with youre doctor and see if you can give you some advice.  Loss of confidence hits stroke survivors along with fatigue etc.  I am 18 mths post stroke and find it really hard to go out on my own, its a real effort just to go into the village.  Is there a place that mum likes to go, encouraging her that you will be able to go there again, as soon as she is up and about.  I was taken out in a wheelchair at first and believe me it gave me the push to get up an walk.  Good luck love to mum from us stroke survivors. Wendy

Hi there. This is a terrible situation for you and for her. I think it would be worth you phoning the Stroke Association helpline and also getting in touch with her doctor’s surgery to see what physio support is available. Headway is another organisation that may help. We have a Life After Stroke Centre nearby in Worcestershire and they offer seated exercise, seated Tai Chi  and strength and balance classes. Some class members are bused in by ambulance. However, not all health authorities are supportive or fund such provision. At the moment I am not surprised she feels so low.

I wonder if you can be even more caring and attempt to get Mum to try some of the good ideas for herself. I say this becuase no one else can get our recovery, it really has to come from ourselves. We need to be positive and to promote our own willpower. 

I frequently forget what I preach, but at the end of the day it is only me that can repair me.

What I can say is that things can improve , slowly, and its never too late. So Mum must not give up.

Its probably the mental side that is crushing Mum ( or cognitive). 

Its easier for us males as we are taught to be more independent than the girls. Especially for those if us who are less young. 

One of the best things anyone said to me, came very early on and its along the lines of " So how are you going to achieve these goals ?" It was a bit of a shock after all the sympathy I had been given. But it made me think. 

Its so very hard for you as a daughter. You need to be thoughful and caring, yet you need to give mum a jolt into triggering her own recovery.

The confidence thing seems to be very widespread. And it covers up many underlying issues. If mum will not try to walk, then how about doing exercises to ensure she keeps every muscle moving. As John suggests, seated tai chi is one superb aid to this.

Do say hello to her from me, a fellow SS. And remind her that things do improve, slowly slowly, so she doesnt need any medics to check up on her progess. She knows all too well what she cant do. But what she really needs is to know what she can do.

Will she write a stroke diary ? It is invaluable later in the recovery journey. And a boost when I feel low, to look back at where I have come from.

best wishes




Hi Wendy,

All great advice from everyone, as usual. The helpline number is 0303 3033 100. You can also look for support services and groups in your area for you and your mum via this link 

I hope you can find the support she needs, perhaps even encourage her on here or to read some of the stories from other stroke survivors on the main website (just scroll down slightly)