Caring for loved one at home

They’re talking through their hat!

The first 6 months after a stroke are the most important for recovery and when patients will see the most improvement. But it doesn’t just stop there either!

Stroke Recovery Timeline | Johns Hopkins Medicine

So the sooner he gets out of hospital and into rehab the better. Home would be the best place for him to progress faster, where he has some sense of normality. I think progress is stagnated in hospital purely due to the lack of mental and physical stimulation. He needs to you to inspire him, to give him hope to keep fighting and working on his rehab! Show him this post if need be, just the folk in this post alone are proof enough of the progressions he can still make.

Thank you for that . It was really helpful

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Just wanted to say thankyou for all the messages that have helped me understand what he will be feeling and going through mentally. Nobody knows unless they have been through it themselves. You have all helped me so much so far. Can’t believe I was ever scared of joining your group! :rofl: Thankyou :heart:


I’m surprised to read this! Very

His age and physical size has nothing to do with his cognitive and emotional reaction to the situation he finds himself in
a “grown man” comment equates growing equals maturing of cognitive processes to a place where multiple factors can be combined including social norms, emotional turmoil etc

that just isn’t a reliable benchmark for somebody w/ a damaged brain that probably renders unwanted emotional dysfunctions and a highly stressed environment that demands responses.

Respect (for example but also patience, goal directed behaviour etc) requires evaluation interpretation integration and expression of a great many factors together. Any one of which may my quite simply be beyond his ability to manipulate sequence and combine. So will scupper the whole integrated chain of contributions leading to actual behaviour

We obviously don’t know the nuanced details so any pronouncements are at worst random unhelpful thoughts.

Does he appear to have rational cognitive grasp of his reality? He’ll need some of that for you to engage in any constructive conversations. Is his personality normally conciliatory or argumentative or… That is is he acting in character?

Has anybody used the goal actions reasons what how why why why… questioning line linked backwards from some goals like “would you like to go home?”, ” that means you need to be able to get out of bed, when will you do some exercises aimed at allowing you to shift from bed to chair - would you like me to help with…, The sooner you start the sooner you will be able to go home”

Obviously I don’t know whether his mobility is such that the above is a direct example but notice I was seeking to establish a goal that he embraces and then link it to the actions he will need to take so that the motivations are intrinsic.

Extrinsic instruction may well generate resistance and resentment and focus for anger and frustration and feelings of unfairness and opportunity to channel the desire to rail at the world into the person in front of him at the time - like a bee buzzing on an open window instead of flying up or down to get out.

If he has no rational cognitive space for a conversation then I don’t know how you do with that :frowning: if he does and comments like “I’m sorry” suggest it then I’m thinking that the behavioural training techniques of reinforce the positives and 100% ignore the negatives might help.

Even then the rational desire and the alignment of emotional response and attempts will require a strength of character that may not be able to draw energy away from the bodies healing of damaged brain tissue as yet

It seems a little surprising that the professionals on a ward dealing with people that may have brain damaged baselines would not already know this and use it as an ingrained modus operandi :frowning:

I hope these contributions are a potential key to unlock progress. One powerful key is patience and allowing time to play out stroke recovery is truly a marathon

As for plateaus as emerald said they’re complete bollaux - every plateau is the launch pad for the next capability development push.
Plateaus are a time of consolidation and strengthening and smoothing current achievement levels.
Plateaus our times of progress not marked in the gaining of new capability but in the consolidation and integration of current.
They only ever mark the end of it when they mark the cessation of efforts - it seems like the PT team want to put continuious effort else no effort in. So they do not recognise that from the beneficiaries view level and nature of effort vairies in a cycle - or they’re looking at an excuse that fits the budgettry and rationing pressures that they are probably under


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He does understand whats happening. They say he is fine processing basic information but we need to keep things simple. The problem is he knows what he wants to say but when its not coming out clear and we can’t understand him he gets frustrated understandably. When he refuses to do physio etc I do try and encourage him explaining that the more he can try to do the better he will feel and the easier it will be when he comes home. Thats what he wants more than anything. I think he is just getting fed up of everyone asking him to do things and being examined constantly. Yesterday physio said he was in a good mood when they saw him in the morning. He wanted to get out in his chair but by the time they got back on the ward with a special chair for him he had been taken ill again with constant coughing, low oxygen so it was back to blood tests, xrays taken again etc. My nieces friend is a nurse and happened to be looking after him last night and got him smiling and laughing! :+1:. Physio have spoken to a psychologist from the stroke unit and they are going to keep an eye on his moods and see if there is anything in particular that triggers his mood swings. Will see how he is today when I visit. I never know what to expect :roll_eyes:. Thanks again for replying.


But he is a grown man Simon not a 2 year old, And just maybe he wants to be treated that way, and if he does then he should be prepared to take the bad with the good. And my opinion is only based on all that Paula has said about her partner in these posts.

And this last post from her just clarifies, to me anyway, that he has the mental capacity to recognise his bad behaviour, feel remorse and can apologise for his behaviour to his partner. But I’m not an expert, just a fellow stroke survivor.

So he is a grown man and the last thing he needs is to be pitied or excused and treated with kid gloves. Whatever is his current mental capacity is, he’s not stupid, he’s frustrated and p’d off that he’s back stuck in hospital and there’s nothing he can do about it. But that doesn’t mean he can take all his anger and frustrations out on Paula and the staff. Paula also needs to look after her own mental health in all this and protect it.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being pulled up or reprimanded for bad behaviour no matter your mental capacity. How else would a baby learn right from in if no ever told them. The brain still needs to be re-trained, to re-learn, be reminded, reawakened if it can. So, to not try to correct bad behaviour would be same as you not bothering to do anything to regain the use of your stroke arm/hand.