Carers Help

I have been trying for 2 months to find some carers/befrienders who can sit with my hubby overtake him out for more than just 1 hour a week. It's impossible to go food shopping, run errands, walk the dog etc. As I can're leave him due to high risk of falling. He has right side neglect, visual neglect and peripheral vision loss in the right. We live in a rural village at least 20 minutes drive from a t I am so 1 hour is not long enough to do anything. Carers Network was a dead loss, Carers prescription gave me 1 session of 4 hours, Carers Trust need to do a Carers Assessment but can't do it until the end oily f October! Stroke Association are looking into help but it means I can't do anything on. My own, get a break etc. His family sit for a short while when they can but it's not regular. Anyone got any ideas?

Hi, I don’t know if you’ve tried this or not. But I’ve known local hospitals have befriending services which they may also run in the community and not just be hospital based. This is usually ran through a volunteer service so you can be matched with someone who may be able to dedicate longer than an hour to come and sit with your husband or take him out. Might be worthwhile searching your local hospital and seeing if they offer this service. Hope you manage to find somewhere that can help you. 

Hi Jean

I am aware Age UK offer a befriending service in areas around the country -

I hope this helps.

Take care


Thanks Vicki but they only offer this to people living alone.

Hi Jean it is important to have a Carers Assessment and is needed to get the help and support you require. Once this is done you will be able to set up a care plan either through an agency or with direct payments giving you some free time to do what ever you need to. 


Hi Sue,

Had my Carers Assessment on Monday and they told me to start leaving him home alone. They didn't say that I'd get any help at all with financial only that I could claim for Carers Alowance once he has been accepted for Attendance Allowance but we can't claim until the end of the year.

Hi jean I don't know who has done your Carers assessment but social services should also become involved once the assessment has been done (you don't have to do this) usually it's the one that does the assessment. Takes time like everything else so I hope you will hear something soon. I know from experience that it's not easy to leave them on their own depending on the effect of the stroke,but sometimes you have to. If your husband can talk you could have a falls alarm fitted so he could press for help if he fell while you were out and they would let you know . Hope this is helpful for you jean.

sue x

Thanks Sue,

I've been leaving him as he has a falls alarm already, however, I have to ask his daughter to come and make sure he makes a snack, hot drink and take his meds if out for a long time as he doesn't even think to do it, he'd rather wait for me to come home and do it !  I really feel frustrated that he's being lazy and selfish. Won't do hisexercises without me badgering him etc. Grrrr!!!!



Hi, I nowleave him for a while.  Have tried to get befrienders from the Stroke Association, Camsight, RNIB and some other ares but because we live in a rural village there doesn't seem to be anyone trained in our area!  Thaks for your help anyway.


Hi Jean, just been catching up on your post - I know how scary it is to leave a SS, even now (16 months post-stroke), there are still times when my husband isn't sure if he's taken his meds.  I find it so difficult, as he looks lost, and just says "I can't remember", it's really sad.  He's a bit of a pickle for taking in fluids, when I'm home I keep topping him up, but when I'm at work I'm never sure how much he's taken on board.  As Colin, JJM, and others keep pointing out, Stroke Survivors have survived for a reason, and they have to take responsibility for their recovery and progress - I always think it sounds very strict!!, but coming from well-meaning SSs I think we must take note and listen to what they say.  As carers and family we are more than willing to support, encourage and celebrate progress, but only the SS can do the exercises, take the meds, etc. It's not a good situation, and it's a cruel hand that has been dealt.  Stay strong, keep nagging but with a big smile (and sometimes, gritted teeth!!)

Thinking of you xx