Hi I have put a few posts on but never sure what category to put it in.
My husband is now around 9 months post stroke. To be honest he’s done great considering and feel grateful for how far hes come.
But I cant seem to stop reminding him to do things that i feel will help his recovery i.e. post it notes reminding him to use left hand, walk with heel first etc and sometimes I get very frustrated as he doesn’t or cant instigate these things himself (TBH probably more cant) Im starting to feel like I dont want to help him, resenting him a little and get angry, is it wrong to keep reminding him should I just let him be and give myself peace. It’s affecting my mental health, I’ve been on antidepressants since hes had stroke.
@Lindy58 ,as an ex-carer, maybe this is away of helping himself. It could a coping mechanism. But make he doesn’t get flustered or frustration. Stroke recovery is a long process. I’ll lend advice when where needed. Be a carer is very difficult. I did it for 30+yrs. He frustrated because he’s trying to find a new normal. Just been there for him is a start.
Hi @Lindy58 as @JohnnyBoy81 has said being a carer can be difficult as both carer and sufferer know some days are tough. I also know how it feels to have your brain be put through a spin cycle and wonder why I forgot something simple,
@Jbob , your not wrong there. Like my mum, I too have suffered the slings and arrows of life. But I always say to myself, “they have it worse than me.” It’s what motives me. Since her death, I’m an old war horse put out to pasture. As I said, I’ll offer advice where I can.
Stroke recovery is a long old process and the brain often needs reminding how to do things the “right way”. It takes a lot of perseverance and is frustrating for both of you I’m sure.
Maybe try letting him do it his way for a while to give you a break as much as anything. Sometimes we do just have to find ways around doing things to get the job done or get through the day.
You can always revisit it a but further down the line & maybe try requesting another round of physio for him to take the pressure off of you a but too.
It isn’t wrong to keep reminding him but you have to look after yourself too. I had a few tiffs with my hubby when doing my rehab as sometimes I just didn’t have the energy to so it all ans he never quite understood that. Of course his pushing was meant well and in my best interests but sometimes it just wasn’t possible.
Hi @Lindy58 I’m coming at this as the stroke survivor. I suffered a hemorrhagic stroke 9 years ago which paralysed my left side. My husband is my full-time carer and I know how tough this has been for both of us. Stroke recovery is a long and difficult journey which affects not only the stroke survivor but everyone around them. With my husband’s help and support I have improved lots since my discharge from hospital after 5 months. I walk with a stick outdoors and can potter about unaided at home. My husband works for 3 days a week and I think that this is good for both of us, giving us time apart and me some independence. I can make myself a cup of tea and potter around our bungalow. I never thought I would be able to be at home alone and it was scary at first and I know my husband was nervous about leaving me but now we both enjoy our time apart. I often go out to lunch or dinner with friends and I encourage him to do the same.
We’ve had some difficult times but try to be kind to each other. One thing my husband has said is that he feels that he has made things too easy for me at times and that he has held me back. It’s difficult to know how much to help and when to stand back. I would say don’t stop encouraging him to try and improve things and be there to step in if you think he needs extra help. I’m sure with your love and support he will slowly begin to improve.
Remember to take care of yourself too, your health and wellbeing is also very important. Have you considered attending a Stroke Survivors Support Group, we found that very helpful in the early days of my recovery. Speaking to otherstroke survivors and their carers is worth it’s weight in gold and was very helpful and informative.
Be kind to each other and be patient, although that’s easier said than done sometimes
Hello Lindy - Most people post in the “Share your story” category as you have done.
I believe this is the most popular category, followed by
Life After Stroke
General
etc.
It’s not always obvious which category to use and I don’t believe it really matters as there are no strict rules.
Members have their own ways of using this site and since there is no formal training and individuals have different levels of skills and familiarity with the technology “success” or otherwise varies.
You can always reach out to the moderators e.g. @Anna_Moderator who can guide or advise you.
I can see all your posts have been read and responded to by quite a few members.
With posts on this forum sometimes
members just read them
they will reply / share their experiences
“Like the post”
Other times, they may link it to other posts if relevant etc.
One thing is almost guaranteed and that is at least one person will respond regardless of which category your post is placed under.
There are a few “die hard” members who read pretty much all the posts and respond in one way or another.
If you feel you are not getting a response, or require more feedback, just repost or rephrase the question.
Be a carer is very difficult. I did it for 30+yrs. He frustrated because he’s trying to find a new normal. Just been there for him is a start.
