Brain Stem Stroke- right lateral Medullary Infarction

About stroke
21

@PatAtkins
Hi Pat,

I wish that were true! whilst I have gained a lot of insight into coping with illness you are never prepared wen it happens. I have been through some serious stuff in the last few years and as a result, I find I am more resilient and able to move from shock to recovery maybe a little quicker. The people around you play a massive part in that and I am very lucky to have a good support network of family and friends, but it is still very hard at times.

My husband has been great through all my illnesses, he is very much an ‘it is what it is’ person and is not someone who talks easily about his feelings. I have noticed that he is more quiet at home (his way of processing) and is showing more irritability, so I know he is feeling the effects of my stroke as well. I also find my self easily irritated and frustrated and this has made me snappy on occassions which I hate.

We have been together for nearly 40 years and I have learned over that time that lifes ups and downs can make us behave in ways we normally wouldn’t and that it is important to remember that and when either of us gets reactive to forgive quickly and let it go. (not always easy). He has always been my rock and by my side, he doesn’t always say a lot but his actions speak volumes about his love and care for me, especially when I am grumpy :grinning_face:.

There have been times I have wished he would accept emotional support himself as i know my illnesses take their toll on him, but that is not his way and I have learnt to allow him space to deal with things in his own way.

Some of the things that I feel have helped him, that others may find useful;

  1. Asking someone they enjoy spending time with to come visit. I found asking my husbands brother to come visit helped him. His brother lives over 300 miles away so my husband doesn’t see him as often as he would like. When they get together they are like 2 schoolboys again, laughing and joking and this is the best medicine for my husband.
  2. Walking our dog together in the countryside also often leads to him opening up a bit about how he is feeling.
  3. Doing a simple task together like a jigsaw gives us both space to relax and will often lead to us talking about things.

For myself I have learned that sometimes professional help is the way to go. In the past I have used talk therapy and CBT and would recommend both to anyone struggling as I have had good results with both. This time I feel I need professional help to ovecome my fear of swallowing and choking (this is not a new problem, rather an old one that has come back as a result of my stroke), SALT has got me as far as eating soft foods which is great.

Apologies for my long response :smile: my way of dealing with things is to get them out there either from talking or by writing about them, can you tell!

Lizx

2 Likes
22

@ManjiB

Thanks for the heads up, no one medical has even mentioned any of this to me and I have been on Amlodopine for over a year and Lisinopril prior to that. I will definately make a point of checking my levels with the GP at my next blood test.

Thanks for the tip about bananas and nuts, I am already eating these daily so hopefully this will help keep my potassium up.

1 Like
23

I don’t know what the forum conventions are, but I find your long posts helpful and interesting!

My other half is also pretty stoical and soo we often don’t talk things through as much as we should - she’s unlikely to go down the professional help route either, I think (nor me, I’m very much of the “bury it deep” persuasion - in my first week in hospital a close friend died, and in the second my father died: I’d rather not open up any emotional boxes just yet!).

But, like you, I discovered how important it is to push my partner to do things with friends she rarely saw as part of “normal” life. If we had a dog, I’d try that too - actually, we used to hike regularly and most of our life planning came about in the hills and in the fresh air.

Thank you for your thoughts, it’s much easier to try to work things out once you’ve got an idea how other people deal with stuff. I certainly feel better when I think this has happened to others and they got through it fine. Also when I think just how lightly I hit off, compared to so many stroke sufferers. I’m grateful for that one every single day, to be honest.

Keep on keeping on.

3 Likes
24

Hi Lizzie 22 - I am 20 months post stroke and at last the right side of my mouth is 80% back to normal. My speech is a bit sluggish but that’s my fault because I eventually stopped my daily speech exercises. I used the befriending service provided by the stroke association and had several discussions on the phone with a volunteer. This helped tremendously but not my balance which is stiff a bit iffy.
You will improve - it just takes time. Bob3

2 Likes
25

@Bob3
Hi Bob, thats great news and I am so glad you have recovered so much, I hope you continue to see improvements. I have been looking at the befriending service and I am glad you found it helpful.

1 Like
26

Hi @PatAtkins

I just wanted to pop along and welcome you to the community, I’m sorry to hear about your stroke and the difficulties you have been facing.

It sounds like you’ve done incredibly well with your recovery and I hope you’ll find the Online Community helpful.

If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.

Anna