Wow 
That is a lot of factors that will generate huge complexity.
I can’t recall any other threads on here That are as challenging. However a lot of what you have included in your description is included across the whole body of back threads.
The first thing to say is you need if you have not already done so to reach out to the carers organisations in your locality to give you a lot of reassurance that you’re doing the right things, my wife always says the best things that they did for her was to stop feelings of guilt and encourage her to take me time - I suggest that’s your number one priority.
The stroke association helpline stroke helpline and the interactive map on the website can both point you in the right direction but these are not the only help groups because not all of them want to be controlled in the way the stroke association suggests.
The magnifying glass above allows you to search for themes. There are a number of posts about caring for others partners or parents and all contain elements for hope - a very few contain the disorientation but I don’t think any contain the violence. They generally plot a history of improvement over time but who can say in any one specific case that will be the outcome
This is certainly a place where you can have a cathartic rant, appeal for a very measured broad reflection on our experiences, just share with people who do really understand because they’ve been through it and that may in itself be some help to you.
I’m sorry that I can’t be more helpful but at least you aren’t alone. We normally direct people to the welcome post) and I will give the link here because some of it are very small amount might be useful as might be the benefits and concessions thread
I’m sure others will be along to share their reaction and advice @Mrs5K & @EmeraldEyes @EMG72 come to mind