After four years of immobility and pain I’m finally getting my head round that this is my life now until my end wwhere either another big stroke will finish me or the medications I’m taking contribute to a major organ failure in the years that follow.
So as before I see another year approaching with the options if small gains but more of the same, very boring and sad but a real life situation
I have just climbed the most challenging steps to enter my in-laws for their Christmas gathering. Narrow concrete steps no hand rail death in every step if wrong footed.
@mrfrederickson there is an element of acceptance needed to help us live with what has happened. That doesn’t mean that there is where it stops though. You have made great gains and there’s every reason to believe you’ll make more. So that acceptance should come with hope too.
And well done on getting up those steps. I’d still be at the bottom. You achieved it & you didn’t fall or die so that’s another massive achievement for you.
Enjoy the Christmas celebrations with your inlaws.
Thanks and I’m never a happy bunny when reflection of my future haunts me so excuse my negativity I’m not feelings too happy currently new yea coming round the corner fills me with a level of despair but I will rally eventually.
I believe we all go through these bad patches at times while still trying to show a brave face.
You are not on your own dealing with this.
It is brave to speak out and I think this forum is a great place where there are loads of sympathetic ears.
You will find words of encouragement and sometimes also help others to realise they are not alone.
As a stroked person one is surrounded by completely able folk going about their business, no restrictions, no discomfort.
It is easy to slip into feeling alone, cut off and no longer what we were.
Today is a new day, there are more than a million of us in this country, so you and I are not alone.
Meanwhile, more are joining us.
We can learn to be who we are and be glad for that. We can be grateful for whatever support we receive and work at a bright tomorrow.
We can encourage one another and through that be of use to each another.
We know how things are and we can be of service to those new to this strange territory.
New Year can be a difficult time. Try not to look too far ahead. Set your sights on smaller closer targets. None of us know what will happen in ten years time not even what will happen next week. So much can change.
@Bobbi is right. We all go through the down times and we all have our own ways of getting through.
I’m immeasurably grateful to all who reach out to me when I wallow in self pity.
I just wish I had more control over my recovery rather than waiting for a damaged brain to repair itself. It can be a surprise when things re engage with their body and function but too hit and miss.
I’m going to keep on ploughing on forward until I’m no more in the hope it all comes together, and do things on the way.
I hear you, but there are people worse off than us ; maybe they’re bed ridden or worse still ? Thank the good Lord for sparing us that hardship. At least we can have a good moan or a boast about challenging steps and no hand rails. What’s left is for us to enjoy every minute of every day, no exceptions, no excuses.
I’ve seen you do well.
Happy 2025 ; and we cannot know what’s right around the corner.
Maybe a surprise breakthrough. Allow that possibility, at least !!!
mrfrederickson.
Christmas and New Year are strange times. I think there is this feeling that everyone should be having a wonderful jolly time laughing and drinking etc. It’s never the best time for me and to be honest I can’t wait for it all to be over. When you’ve had a stroke and aren’t as mobile as other people you see, when you are so frustrated by your lack of progress, and can’t see any light at the end of this long black tunnel you just yearn for the life you once had when getting up from a chair just happened, climbing stairs just happened walking down the garden was a norm and in fact life just was! Hopefully when Spring arrives we will all start to feel better and see a glimmer of hope that things can and will improve just a little bit.
“Keep on keeping on” - things will get better x
I’m worse at this point in the year as it’s close to my anniversary so I get a bit down., however I realise the next year could be golden or not I just need the courage to face the reality of recov and its lottery, do my best set goals and move forward.
Actually mrfrederickson, just the thought of those steps is giving me the coliwabbles No! Just No! Find me a back door in and on the level:sweat_smile:
You’re a brave man mrfrederickson, and thought of those steps in snow or ice Id have rails installed…for them
One ray of hope is this is my first Christmas Day stick free in the house only used it to go outside to get in the car, in 4 years. Hope to persevere with this and my birthday and new year.
Thanks Bobbi I intend on doing just that, with every good day it will be a stick free day and become more and more until one day all my days will be stick free and then build on walking outside without a stick, more challenging but possible!!
Actually mrfrederickson, just the thought of those steps is giving me the coliwabbles 
No! Just No! Find me a back door in and on the level:sweat_smile:
Id have rails installed…for them 