My partner of 23 had a stroke almost two weeks ago. He can’t move his right side or talk only up until yesterday he said I love you. He thinks he’s saying something else but is only saying I love you or my name which obviously is a huge relief. He suffered a major stroke and he’s currently in hospital. I feel like he knows who I am because he is kissing my hand trying to put his hand up my top, silly things he used to do and won’t do with other people. We argued a lot in our relationship and I live with his family at his home in his bedroom. It’s been incredibly awkward and I just don’t know what to do or say. I’m still in disbelief
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Hi Eurydice
Welcome to this forum. I am sorry to hear about your partners stroke in truth none of us wanted to belong but I can say there are some truly remarkable and inspirational people on here and I am certain you will find support and love too.
I have had 2 strokes thankfully mild - God willing no more.
From what you have said i can’t imagine other than Your partner knows who you are. Starting out is never easy and you have already had your trials from what you say and now this. The way ahead will be significantly hard theres no getting around that but it can also draw you closer than ever. You will find the support here and there are many others with information and personal experience.
Keep talking. It’s a start and as your partner improves i hope he will feel able to join the conversation. I believe I can say we are all here for you. You may find support in a local stroke club and the stroke Association will. (I think) have a local support coordinator- mine is very helpful and wise and I am sure they will be worth talking too. Not everything will be right for you or your Partner but everything is worth a try and you will find what works for you both.
Please keep talking and saying how things go…..
Thinking of you both👍
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Aye stroke doesn’t discriminate when it comes to age, it’s a misconception that stroke only strikes in our twilight years. Do you know what kind of stroke he had? At his age, I am wondering if it was a brain stem or cerebellar stroke.
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Hi @eurydice & welcome to the community. Sorry to hear of your partners stroke & at such a young age too. It is likely to be a long road but there is every hope for good progress to be made. It sounds like he has already made a little bit of progress if he has gone from no speech to saying a few words.
It’ll take lots of work & repetition is key. Stroke recovery is a marathon not a sprint & there will be ups & downs along the way.
I don’t know if you use Facebook but Different Strokes is a charity for younger stroke survivors so it may be worth you having a look at their group too.
They have a website aseell if you don’t use Facebook.
Sending you both good wishes
Ann
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Hi @eurydice So sorry to hear of your partner’s stroke at such a young age. Welcome to our community, we are a merry band of stroke survivors of varying ages with a wealth of experience in the stroke world and I hope you will find this a useful place to be.
I know it must be awkward living with your partners family but you may actually find this useful as his road to recovery begins and you will be able to support each other. It’s a traumatic life experience for, not only the stroke survivor, everyone around them. It’s so important to communicate with everyone involved.
Another website you may find useful is the Different Strokes charity for younger stroke survivors and their families. differentstrokes.co.uk
I wish you both well and look forward to hearing from you as your partner’s long road to recovery begins.
You are not alone, there is always someone here to offer information and advice or if you just need to have a rant or need a shoulder to cry on.
Sending positive thoughts.
Regards Sue
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Hello Eurydice - Welcome to the community.
You have joined soon after your partner had his stroke and so it is likely you are still coming to terms with what has happened and how this will likely affect your lives.
It is good to know your partner is showing signs of recovering from the stroke though he remains unable to move his right side. The stroke consultant and the stroke support team should have an idea of what has happened to your partner and how he should be supported going forward. He will likely need care support from someone, whether that is family and friends or professional carers.
His care needs should be assessed and a care plan formulated. All this is normally done whilst in hospital and involves your partner (if he can represent himself, or if not an advocate), family and the stroke team. Depending on the extent of care needed and your partner’s personal circumstances, social services may also get involved to help arrange and pay for the care as appropriate.
Some of these things may already be happening and it might be worth someone to find out what the stroke team thinks will need to be in place to help care for your partner. Also, they will likely assess his ability to do things for himself and so there may be Occupational Therapy and Physical therapy sessions.
So there is a lot going on and it might be worth you and/or his family getting together and working out how you will support your partner’s care needs as he recovers from the stroke.
This forum will help, but to start with, ideally the hospital stroke team is the best place as they will have first hand knowledge and access to his medical records and also they will pretty much influence the care plan when your partner is discharged from their care.
I wish you and your partner all the best.
Namaste|
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In the prime of life ! Wishing you both best wishes and a remarkable recovery
R
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Hey, I’m new to this site and have just see this.
I have lived this and you’re not alone. It’s hard now but I promise you it gets better.
My partner had a stroke at 19 and sadly the doctors missed it which led to him being in a coma for a month. This was during Covid and he ended up being in hospital for a year whilst I also lived on my own at his parents house. This was really difficult. My advice would be to still see people and not feel guilty for not thinking about it. A good support circle is something I didn’t have and it drove me insane so please ensure you talk about it. It will really help you through this time when you feel your world is falling apart.
He had a weekend right leg(he still can’t feel anything in parts of his thigh) and it’s had a cognitive effect on memory and instruction following. Thankfully with continued help from physio/ speech and language after 2 years he was back to work and driving again.
This Christmas will mark 6 years since this happened and we still re-live those moment and our life has turned pre hospital post hospital. Luckily my partner was able to recover and has only now got mild symptoms but only yesterday he opened up and feels after all this time that he needs more help, which is why I searched up this site.
Things will get better, or at least you’ll learn to appreciate the small wins. I can still picture now the first time he walked again and later on when he started to drive again. These things will be the light in the tunnel.
IF you ever need anyone to speak too then get in touch 
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Hi AmberP Welcome to our community and a big thank you for sharing your very inspirational story. It’s good to read a great recovery journey and will be such a boost for anyone struggling in their early days and some of us old timers too 
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Best wishes and regards to both of you
Sue
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Thank you for your lovely reply Susan.
I had only wished I found this back then.
Thank you 
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Hi @eurydice and welcome to the forum. So sorry to hear of your partners stroke, this is not the easiest time for either of you. But it will get a whole lot better!
It’s just going to take time and a lot of patience, recovery requires a lot of rehabilitation and cannot be rushed no matter how hard we try to. We’ve all had to learn that lesson here. Fortunately your partner has youth on his side for the best of outcomes 
It’s scary and the future looks so uncertain right now, it can make or break relationships, but it can put a whole lot of things into perspective and make that relationship stronger too.
Right now, you and your partner are in the very best of situations for the very best recovery. Because you have his parents to share the load with. That’s your biggest advantage here, so work hard to keep that relationship strong with them. They need you as much as you and your partner need them for support. You hold each other up by sharing the load, it’ll make life so much easier for you all. And you all need to take advantage of that because your partner is definitely going to need you all to be united.
One thing he’s definitely not going to be able to cope with is strained relationships, with his parents or with you. His brain can’t cope with any kind of stress, noise, visitor, even people talking over each other, that can quickly fatigue him. Peace and quiet are his best friends for the next 6 months at least and sex is certainly out for the time being too. Life for him, is going to be all about his recovery and rehabilitation exercises while his brain does its mop up and rewiring.
The first 6 months are about the mop up and getting functionality back up and running where it can, rewiring neurons etc. and working out what the long term deficits are. The neuroplasticity, relearning functions such as speech, walking, arm/hand functions, reading, cognitions, emotions etc etc etc. It’s a minefield and every stroke survivor is different. We all share some common deficits and then there are those that are less common, unique to our own stroke. But between us all here, we can help you both figure it all out, so share this post with your partner if he can read yet. He may have questions himself that he can’t yet ask but might be able to find the answers to on here; his parents might benefit too. Speaking from my own experience of not being able to talk (look up Aphasia), I had a lot of questions and no way to ask them. And being in the covid lockdowns at the time, I had no family to speak and ask for me. There’s nothing worse than being in that situation, you’re left very much in the dark, I really do feel for him.
It’s a long slow process and he is currently in the best of care. But, only you can take care of you. You are young too and need to live your life, for the sake of your own health and sanity as well as his. Do not feel guilty about any of that! Take time out for yourself, go out with friends, work and enjoy life.
But remember, whatever you are feeling, his parents are feeling too, including, possibly, that same awkward feeling. Talk to them about that, it’ll start the ball rolling to opening up with each other. It’ll get you all talking about the immediate future as well as long term. But pick a time when pmt is not imminent, when hormones are all over the place and can influence your mood negatively. So bear in mind its the same for his mother too with either pmt/manopause 
That can heighten emotions ranging from irritability and anxiety to depression and anger, so be mindful of that in both of you when you talk to his parents. I’m only speaking from the experience of being one of four sisters and the rows we could have growing up 
They can be avoided, it’s just a matter of working out how to avoid them
I’m 63 and nearly 5 years post stroke now; I can walk, talk, drive, attend fitness classes/gym, and live relatively independently now. Don’t get me wrong, I do still have deficits and none of what I’ve regained is 100% but they are nothing I can’t live with. The most common deficit being the dreaded brain fatigue and for some that’s greater than for others. But even that can be managed, it just takes some time to work out the best way how that suits him.
I wish you both the very best from his recovery, onwards and upwards 
Lorraine
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Welcome to the forum @AmberP, it’s good to hear of your partner’s progress. I hope you can find some answers here.
Speaking from my own experience, he might find it useful to have a search around the forum himself too. There may be things he can’t quite put into words or explain but may answers through reading others wording. That’s just how I do it, though I haven’t found all the answers. Some things I’m starting to think don’t have any descriptive wording to explain or describe certain stroke symptoms and so medical science are unaware of. Family have suggested I invent my own words for it, but that won’t explain it anyone else 
Lorraine
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Hi @eurydice
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear about your partners stroke. It sounds like he’s starting to make progress which is great to hear.
It’s always a shock when these things happen and it will take time to get used to, it’s good to keep talking though so it’s great you’ve found us here and I’m pleased to see you’ve already had some lovely responses.
It would probably be a good idea for either yourself or your partners family to give our Stroke Support Helpline:0303 3033 100 a call as they can give you advice on what should be happening with regards to treatment and care.
As some others have already mentioned, Different Stroke is a great charity to look at for information as they are specifically for working age and younger stroke survivors. The Stroke Association also has Online Activities which you can sign up to, we run a specific group for young stroke survivors which you and your partner (when he’s ready) would be welcome to come along to.
I hope you’ll find this community helpful. If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Anna
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Hi @AmberP
Welcome to the community, I’m so sorry to hear about your partners stroke. I’m glad you’ve found this site and I hope it will be helpful for yourself and your partner.
As I mentioned to @eurydice we have an online group for younger stroke survivors, this may be something that your partner might be interested in. He can meet others going through similar experiences which may help him. We have more information about our Online Activities on our website which has the sign-up form on too.
If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Anna
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Hi @AmberP - A warm welcome to this community!
What a lovely way to introduce yourself to the community. By sharing your experiences you will be helping others who are unfortunate enough to end up in similar circumstances.
I am sure @eurydice will find this helpful and perhaps if you two need to communicate in more detail or on a personal level, this forum allows you to do this.
Wrt your partner “opening up” - this is a good sign and if he realises he requires more help and is willing to look for and accept it, this will further aid his recovery.
Well done both of you for you have already achieved and wishing you all the best as you continue down this road 
Namaste|
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@AmberP just popping by to say hi & welcome to the community. Thanks for sharing your inspirational story. A great first post on the forum which will help many I am sure.
If you have any questions ask away.
Best wishes to you & your partner.
Ann
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Thank you everyone for the warm welcome and lovely replies.
It definitely helps sharing the story, and knowing that it may help someone is so important.
I will definitely be having a good look around the site.
Thank you all
Amber 
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It was a major stroke from a blood clot on the brain. He had to have emergency surgery to break it down.
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Oh my goodness. Sending you so much strength. I am so sorry you are going through this. What a tough thing to go through so young. Crossing everything for you.
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Get yourself a copy of a book called Had a stroke? What now? by Tom Balchin. It’ll help understand what’ds happened and what to expect.
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